When 2010 started I knew this was going to be one hell of a year. Forget what was happening in the news in my own life my husband and I separated again for a second time and an aunt who I had had a long and complicated history with committed suicide. Change was on the horizon and I had to buck up and role with the dice whether I liked it or not.
So here we are in May2010 and the planet is definitely catching on fire, no pun intended. We’re experiencing an on-going volcano ash crisis in Europe, an oil spill that threatens our global ecosystem, countries going bankrupt ie. Greece, Spain, Portugal (and the UK who is not too far behind), mass death of political figures in Poland that has been proven not to be an accident, America and Iran firing off at one another and Thailand fighting for change. We have certainly entered into some rather chaotic energy and boy are we living and feeling it. In one of my previous posts I discussed just how tired I had been feeling as of late. And it is not only me it is others as well. I have come across, quite innocently, on a forum I frequent although do not participate in others complaining of either sleeping too much or not sleeping at all. Over the last few years I slept very little waking up 2 to 3 times a night. It is part of the new sleep cycle many of us are experiencing and it drove me crazy. It also intensified the anxiety that I was suffering with. Now, I have been sleeping, sometimes 15 hours in a day and still barely can keep my eyes open. When I work, which is for me writing, I can sustain about 5 hours maximum and then my whole body shuts down and is ready for a rest.
I recenty came across an article by Tom Kenyon, which has given me some needed new insights on the exhaustion I have been experiencing and so I share it with others as I know I am not alone in this. Funny, this week especially I have barely had any energy to do anything and writing has been out of the question, today seems to be an oddity. I then a couple of days ago realised that the Volcano in Iceland that has been causing much trouble for Europe has been at it again. Stirring and erupting. Most likely my body has been reacting to this latest eruption. God knows what I will feel like when, I stress when, the sister Volcano Katla begins to erupt. I assume I as many others will be bed ridden for the next couple of years!
Before I include Tom Kenyon’s article I would like to comment on the article that Karen Bishop has recently posted, ‘The Three Options.’ I am a great follower of Karen’s work and feel the movements that she describes without a doubt. This last post really resonated with me and once I feel more stable within myself I will write an article articulating what I have been experiencing. Within my feelings of tiredness and exhaustion I found this last week incredibly difficult emotionally. One minute I’m fine the next I am crying. The emotion has been deep and I have been unable to fight off some of the darkness I have been feeling. It is interesting that in this latest post Karen discusses one of the options we have is death. I had concluded to myself only yesterday before I read her latest post that if X,Y and Z had not happened to me by age 43 then I would like to be released and move on. I did not know where this was coming from it is unlike me to think in these ways but obviously it must be something many of us are being faced with. I like many others have lost alot and I am not even 4o yet. Others of my age group are having babies and enjoying life while I sit and suffer in silence losing everything I have ever known in my life that has helped me define who I am. Astroloically speaking I haven’t even hit the Uranus opposition which is supposed to bring on the mid-life crises phase. Life has been very challenging for me and I have had to experience great loss. When you experience several large scale losses in life it becomes harder and harder to believe a bright future is ahead of you. So, I was actually relieved to read this from Karen and can completely relate to how she must be feeling. I can feel the sadness in her words and have fully resonated with how she is feeling. I feel for some of us these feelings are very raw and real. In the next week or so I will elaborate on this a bit futher, but at the present time I do not feel ready to discuss these darker feelings that have been making me think of death quite yet.
Anyway, below is an article by Tom Kenyon which discusses the purpose of the earthquakes and volcanoes we are experiencing and how they are interrelated and impact us. There is some very good information here that should help you answer why you have been feeling so tired.
Until next time.
Valentine St Aubyn