No safe place only safe DNA

Hello everyone.  So sorry for the short respite.  I’ve been completely rushed off of my feet  since the beginning of the year and it has taken me a while to catch up with myself. 

So, we’ve finally made it to 2011.  This is going to be an action packed year so I’ll warn you now.  Not only on the public stage but also in our own private lives.  If you’ve been trying to move forward with new projects but haven’t been getting anywhere then this year is the year.  Many of us have been focused on 2012 as being the true start of the shift but from all accounts and resources I’ve listened to the new will be very obvious by the Autumn of 2011.  What that looks like and what will transpire is still to be confirmed but I think it is safe to say that only the very stubborn and completely unevolved will not notice that their world is changing rapidly.

And let’s just talk about the change in the world.  The events in Egypt are absolutely phenemonal.  At this point in time Mubarak is still trying to cling on to his power although he has divulged in principle his powers and duties to his Deputy.  If the Egyptians keep hanging on and doing what they have been they will overcome this and win the battle, and when they do the spirit of revolution will go viral.   I want to call 2011 the’ year of revolutions’ because it will be very contagious. 

We are in some great times and this is the time so many of us have fought so hard to be here for.  There is nothing to be afraid of as so many of us we will be kept safe during this changing landscape.  I want to use an expression Jelaila Starr has used, ‘There is no safe place only safe DNA.’  I know many people have a hard time with all of the information she puts forward about Nibiru but I definitely resonate with her theory that if you have been doing the necessary clearing work and facing your fears over these last few gruelling years you will not need to experience pain and confusion when the shit hits the fan.  We bring to us the people and experiences we need to help wake us up. So many of us have already seen the darker days and will not need these experiences in future.  Instead, we will become the beacons of light, the lighthouse in the middle of chaos to help inform others as to what is going on as I do believe we will all just wake up one day and realise our whole world has completely changed.

So, all of those dark times we have experienced over the last few years.  The nasty characters that have tried to hurt us, the lost opportunities we have had to face as our lives fall apart, the bad health, the financial ruin, the tears and pain of loss its all been to help us clear our emotional baggage.  So, if you have done the work and are doing the work this is now our time to start to live again and be safe while the world around us goes through its own emotional clearing stage. 

I have included Jelaila Starr’s video which talks about this concept.  It is very interesting and worth a look. 

Emotional clearing provides safety

Until next time.  Valentine.

No you are not crazy it’s just the energies of August

Feeling unbalanced, a bit paranoid, tearful, tired, exhausted, fed up?  Feeling like your life is on the verge of change but nothing has happened yet? Well, you’re not alone and this is the reality for many of us at the moment.  Last week I spent most of the hours of the day fighting extreme fatigue.  When I feel like this I know something big is on its way.  Yes, there are zones of conflict in the midst of turmoil as we speak.  The floods of Pakistan, the forest fires in Russia and Portugal and the continuing saga of the oil ‘disaster’ which is not being reported accurately by any means are just a few events that have kicked in since the cardinal cross at the beginning of the month began.  But as August opened we have also been inundated with new energies as the solar flare cycle which has been quiet for quite some time re-emerged firing off a massive ejection.  This only means one thing, new coded information is being hurled towards us and these energies have to be assimilated into our bodies and if I may add our conciousness which governs how we see, feel, and react.  I feel that August will be a month of incubation although a fiery seclusion waiting to burst.  And that all of these energies will climax which has been the theory all along but I believe we will have to wait until September and October before the fireworks go off. Which most likely will occur when Pluto awakens from its slumber in mid-September.  So be forwarned.

So if you have been having a hard time this month know it will pass and that you are not alone.  There are many shifts and changes going on in our lives at this time.  Endings are never easy but with every ending there is always a beginning.  I would like to leave you with the latest astrological weather report from Anne Ortelee who describes what we are currently experiencing very well.  I love the way she writes and she describes the energy of the moment so well.

Take care, Valentine.

Weekly Weather August 16, 2010

Our Cardinal T-square perfects this week, culminating in moments of choice for each of us. T-squares are crossroads in the heavens, asking us to make choices and choose our path. A three point heavenly cross guides us as we choose our next direction and head off towards our life. Often we come to a profound realization about ourselves during heavenly cross roads.

This cross road is a bit bigger than most others have been. There are 5 outer planets, which are societal and life direction planets, changing signs and starting new journeys. When the planet change signs, we change down here on earth too. As above, so below. As without, so within. We live in an interconnected world and universe where the symbolism and synchronicity interplay in our lives across time and space.

I always laugh and love it when some one asks me if I really believe in astrology. I reply “Of course I do. And YOU believe in astrology too! Even if you actually don’t realize it.” Asked to explain, often with a scowl on their face, (translated as: How dare I suggest that THEY believe in Astrology?), I reply “Well the Sun affects your behavior ~ you wear a coat in winter and sweat in the summer ~ just as the Sun impacts all life and causes the seasonal cycles of everything on earth. And the Moon makes the tides of the ocean move as well as the tides of water within you. The OCEAN! The Moon moves the Ocean! So if those TWO bodies have such a profound impact on us down here on earth, how can we ignore the other bodies up there?” And I smile sweetly, often with a giggle added, just for extra emphasis as in ~ you silly, you never thought of THAT before did you?

Weeks like the past few and the one to come, just affirm my understanding of the cycles and impact of same. We Virgos LOVE a good system for categorizing and organizing things. So forward we go to the t-square culmination that we’ve been waiting for! Our next chapter awaits us ~ as the heavens present us with a moment of choice.

But first a word of caution. I’ve had a few clients call with recent suicides in their lives, particularly that first week in August when Mars was so active. This is a big week for feeling you can’t take it a moment more and acting on it too. Another big suicide week. Soooooo, IF you know someone who has been having a particularly hard time lately, take the time to give them a call and talk to them. Let them know that this week is particularly hard energetically. And that all the difficult energy will start to abate after the weekend. However, THIS week will be tough so you want them to know you love them and would like to help in any way you can. They know you believe in that astrology stuff ~ and in a secret part of their being, they resonate to it (even if they don’t admit it on the surface or to your face). Heck, you always get the problems that happen during a Mercury retrograde right!

So encourage them to make NO PERMANENT decisions or final solutions to their problems to the extent possible. No acting out their inner Mel Gibsons or Steven Slaters, even if they really, really want to deploy the emergency exit chute while chugging a beer. And if they mention they are thinking of killing themselves or killing some one else, talk to them, all night long if need be. Get them help. Take it SERIOUSLY! This is the week when they will act on it. If they are thinking they are having a nervous breakdown, take them to the hospital. If some one is stalking or threatening someone you know, encourage the person to get OUT of their normal life routines for the week. And to be careful. No points for bravery. No cavalier dismissing it as foolishness. Take care of yourself and others this week.

I hate to be an alarmist astrologer but some weeks are rougher than others. This week we have Jupiter opposing Saturn for the second time and Saturn squaring Pluto for the third time. Saturn/ Pluto is a terrorist aspect. Jupiter /Saturn is separating hardship, endings and structure from the good times and sense of optimism. The planets are in signs that are CARDINAL so they like to take action! And Uranus is at the crazy making degree of 29 Pisces, where the boundaries between illusion and delusion are very, very frayed and fragile. We need to take good care of each other this week.

Essentially, we will all be fighting or arguing with the principle of being our own authority, growing up and being the adult in the room. Part of us wants to be a big kid and stomp our feet. Part of us knows we have to grow up now. Jupiter and Pluto are both Saturn’s kids. The kids are fighting with Dad, or the authority ~ perceived, believed, real or unreal, in their lives. We will be struggling with our own ideas of authority too. How grown up are we really? How much of us is still 5 and wanting to be comforted? We have to comfort ourselves this week.

Mercury stations to go retrograde after setting off the t-square by declination aspect which finds him siding with Saturn and fighting with Uranus and Jupiter. So expect unexpected news that is rather shocking. Sun opposes Neptune and Chiron so the sense of illusion or the dream dissolves and you see things clearly that you may not have seen before. Both Venus and Mars have hard aspects to Neptune and Chiron too. In their case, the planets of desire and action are in a stressful place of needing to take action to find relief. And they are working together to start a new cycle right as all the other planets are collapsing in piles of exhaustion.

So take care of yourself. Take care of your loved ones. Get extra nurturing. Get your self extra support if your old addictions come a’ calling with all the tension in the sky. One of the things I noticed in the Steven Slater story was the reference to 12 steps and sobriety on his Face book page and the reporting that he grabbed a beer as he made his exit down the emergency slide after a very, very bad day at work. It is a VERY easy time to slip back into old destructive ways of nurturing yourself so be careful to get yourself extra support if you find yourself tempted.

And in a week it will be all over! If the financial markets are going to collapse, this is the week. So fingers crossed (and toes too) we all make it to the other side. I am rooting for you! And you need to root for you too. And make sure to root for the people in your life who need rooting for! We are all in this beautiful world together for a reason. And what a ride eh? Clear those cobwebs and fears! Full steam ahead to the next chapter!

 

Monday August 16 Moon in Scorpio kicks up some intense energy as the Sun has an aspect of brilliance. Moon has nice closing aspects of a trine to Uranus offering creative energy to draw upon. Make sure to note your dreams or great ideas upon awakening. Venus argues with the principle of health and healing shifting her energy to other areas. Be careful not to indulge in bad old behaviors today. Extra emotions abound as Jupiter approaches his opposition with Saturn. Fights with authorities…. Hmmm. Mars squares the nodes offering us the opportunity to choose up or down, good or bad, left or right, whining and crying or growing up. Or maybe a bit of both? It is a choice day. Jupiter opposes Saturn part two of three. Back to May 23rd, when they opposed each other for the first time. Their third time is March 28, 2011. Part two of the opposition asks you to focus on the project you began in May 28, 2000 when they joined at 22 Taurus to begin a new cycle. It calls to mind December 17, 2005, June 22, 2006 and October 25, 2006 when they squared each other, testing whether this was the right choice for you. Now, as they oppose each other, think about the changes you want or need to make to move your life and life’s work forward.

Tuesday August 17 Moon in Sagittarius answers to Jupiter, recently bruised after his fight yesterday with Saturn. The closing aspect is a square to Uranus suggesting separating energy that pushes you to a new place or wants to end a situation. It is a rocking and rolling day as there are numerous aspects in the heavens. Venus erupts with passion and moves rapidly affecting emotions, finances and desires. Mars links up with Eris, the Goddess of Discord to produce some mighty irritated and irritable energy. We are all cranky! Don’t take action if it is destructive. And most actions will be destructive. Be aware the desire is to go nuclear. And quickly. Will that actually HELP the situation? Venus, the principle of love, money and caring is deeply wounded today as she links up with Chiron. She also reaches the end of her proverbial rope. She’s frustrated and angry. Old wounds can be opened. Look at the wounds. Apply astringent. Clear it out. Clean it out. It is YOUR wound, but it existed in your soul to create the life you have. It will never go away but it can be nurtured back into silence or quiet. If you think about it, your wound actually helped you become who you are today. Wounds exist for a reason. Try to understand the reason. I know it hurts but that is the way to clarity.

Wednesday August 18 Moon in Sagittarius continues to push the energy forward passionately. Venus squares the nodes today offering her the same choice Mars had to make on Monday. Be careful not to operate out of your wound. What do you love? Is this situation part of getting you clear on what you want to create in your life? Maybe not with the person or situation standing right before you but it is something you want or need just the same. Be clear. Be brave. Hold your own hand. Support your self. Support your dream. Make a clear choice that supports your desire and life path. Don’t choose out of fear of your wound! Don’t act out of fear of or from your wound! Mars has an ending energy today as he has stresses and agonizes about the decision(s) before him. No permanent endings with knives, guns, jumps or pills! This is a decision time but not time for PERMANENT decisions. Caution around words as things can “end” today. Mars is fighting mad but also boxing against or with smoke and steam. What he is fighting is actually a figment or illusory battle of and in his own mind. Mars is building up a head of steam to take action. Try and reason with him. Or move out of his way. Be careful today. Take precautions. Even if YOU are crystal clear and paying attention, the OTHER guy can be totally out of his or her mind. Caution on angry encounters. Mars has a booster rocket on him today ~ and can be just as explosive. Sex can be completely amazing but there is a strong level of fantasy to all actions taken today so be aware of that as a subset of the energy. While it might look like an amazing partnership, reality is right around the corner. Mercury links up with Saturn by declination and receives very difficult news. Go home and pull the covers over your head (if you can) or call your support people. Relationships can end or transform today.

Thursday August 19 Moon in Capricorn brings us down to reality, with a loud bump. Mercury is slowing to a stop in the sky. Moon goes through the t-square ~ Capricorn Moon can be a critical and difficult energy today as we find the flaw or problem rather than the good parts. Our t-square is triggered yet again. Sun faces a stressful choice as it aspects the Nodes. The power of a booster rocket sets off Venus and her energy today as she too faces off and dissolves the illusions fostered by Neptune. It is NOT okay. There IS a problem! High emotions rule the day. Sun pushes for hope but Mars joins with powerful destructive energy today by declination. War? Collapses? Chaos? Something mighty, mighty big. Mercury fights with Uranus by declination. Words can cause endings, separations, chaos and changes today. Mercury is stopping in the sky as these aspects occur making the words even more powerful and potent. Sun has about had it with these difficult energies and wants to pull the plug on the situation. A great day for firings and break ups and crashes and collapses. The structure just can’t hold it together any more. Pluto asks us to take a new approach to partnerships that are not working for us any more. People can get on your last nerve. Remember the good times when you are feeling like lashing out. This is a transit. They are having crappy stuff on their side too.

Friday August 20 Moon in Capricorn receives a trine from stationing Mercury today. Mercury stopped in the heavens forces us all to look with new eyes at the dawning of a new day where everything is changed. Our souls feel enormous needs to stretch out and relieve the stress even as we feel more building within our being. Sun opposes Neptune so the clarity begins to break through the fog. We will start to see things clearly. This is what the crossroads was for in YOUR life. The moment of clearness arrives ~ or starts to arrive. High emotions move things rapidly. Venus fights with the Goddess of the Sea, Sedna, asking us to understand the role of our interconnected world. The oceans roar as emotions swirl. Mars and Venus both sesquiquadrate Chiron, opening old wounds, causing us to feel a bit ill perhaps. Chiron at the last degrees of Aquarius reminds us that we are all members of the same tribe, like it or not. What happens to one can happen to all. Venus joins with Mars today an hour before Mercury stations retrograde. Venus/ Mars square the Node and form a Hammer of Thor with Neptune and Chiron. Our beliefs and understanding of our world will be forever altered by the events of today. Our pattern of reality is changing before our eyes.

Saturn day August 21 Saturn squares Pluto in the early morning hours, finishing the third of three squares. The first was November 15 2009, the second was January 31, 2010 and the third is today. This is a terrorist or war aspect. It is active when ever we are experiencing terrorist activity. Moon is in deep places all day long allowing us to emotionally process the events of the last week. Sun opposes Chiron, activating the fears and wounds but also offering us an opportunity to take action and heal. Saturn forms a contraparallel aspect with Uranus which is mighty powerful for transformation and shifting of reality. We break free in a way we never have before. We break down in a way we never have before. Once we break, we can begin to heal. Vesta’s square says time will heal all and time will heal nothing. Some things can never heal.

Sunday August 22 Moon in Aquarius allows us to detach and move up 20,000 feet to get a better view of what is actually going on. Moon has helpful aspects as she goes through the t-square and attempts to make sense of what is going on. Sun is inconjunct Uranus asking us to adjust and find stability. Astraea, the asteroid of hygiene, cleanliness and astringency, crystal clear vision stations to go retrograde. We pucker a bit, like biting into a juicy lemon. It stings but also feels good. The energy starts to separate and abate. Relief is right around the corner.

Copyright © 2010 A. C. Ortelee

The Summer of 2010 and releasing through tears

I’m back! Please forgive my delay in posts July was a whirlwind of a month with the launch of my first novel, ‘Zoe Evans’ Possible Worlds the Crystal,’ and with all of the hard work I had been pouring in getting it ready for the publishers for publication I realised I needed a long break.  I think we often forget that overkill is not always the best remedy and at some point it catches up with you and the brain says “Stop! I need a break.”

Alas, I am recuperating which is what I want to discuss in this latest post.  This summer has been filled with some very emotional energy and it is still currently with us and will be as we move through the month of August.  As 2010 crept in at the beginning of the year I knew this was going to be a dramatic year for many of us.  For me a novel I wrote almost nine years ago was going to be published this year which was exciting but also exhausting.  So many of us are experiencing rapid change in our lives now.  I have never been a lucky person in life and things do not come easily to me.  I’ve always had to work very hard but now for many of us who have not had it easy we are realising that we have choices in life and we can create our own luck.

The lunar eclispe on the 26th June and the solar eclipse on the 11th July 2010 surely kicked up alot of stuff for many of us and we have now whether conciously or not embraced the fact that life is going to change whether we like it or not.  The energies that these eclipses kicked up have been very intense and completely tiring.  Eclipses are always emotional but I found the eclipses this summer to be very cathartic.  I am an Earth sensitive.  So I feel very in tune with any new energies that  hit our atmososphere and enter into our bodies.  At the end of June I cried it seemed all day for a week as the eclipse approached.  My crown chakra buzzed and felt tense as the energies hit my body.  I felt exhausted and was crying constantly.  I was not depressed but the sadness was deep. I was releasing although I was not clear exactly what I was releasing.  Sometimes when new energies hit the Earth it has this effect on us and I certainly was feeling the new albeit in a strange way.  But, I am sure others had similar experiences and I feel tears have been very dominant this summer. 2010 has been a very emotional year so far.  I would term it as the year of emotion.  The dramatic earthquakes that have hit Haiti, Chile, China and other places have been very draining energetically.  Couple this with the ash cloud in the early spring in Europe and the oil spill, or should I say ‘catastrophe’ in the Gulf  it is safe to say that world events have certainly shaken many of us up.  The solar eclipse on the 11th July certainly did bring fresh new positive energy in.  There was a lightness in the air for the first couple of weeks of July and I myself felt very uplifted for a short while in comparison to the moodiness I had to fight at the end of June. 

The dreaded and much talked about Cardinal Climax, Cardinal Cross came into fruition on the 6th August changing the energy once again.  I found myself feeling angry and low in energy from mid July and again the tears came back.  The energy that is currently around us reminds me of being in a ‘void’ period.  There is potential for growth but everything is delayed.  I have a sneaky feeling it is the quiet before the storm and I’m sure October will be an action packed month.  All of this energy is building towards something and as we have seen in the first half of 2010 this is not going to be a quiet year.

So in the meantime I have been laying low and keeping my distance from others.  Crying, releasing accepting the restrictions that are around and waiting for the clearing and infusion of new energy to take hold and deliver the news it has to bring.  

So if you feel like releasing tears during these times know you are not alone.  There is an unspoken malaise in the air, as if we are in a holding pattern.  Take a breath and as Depeche Mode say, “Enjoy the silence.”

Until next time.

Valentine

Planetary Ascension Symptoms

I know I have been feeling alot of pressure in my crown chakra area along with a few other niggles here and there and if I am then others are too. So I thought I’d present an article directly focused on Ascension symptoms as the energies are currently very heavy at the moment and with the upcoming cardinal cross in August these energies will continue to build.  If you do a web search you will find plenty of information on ascension symptoms, but I feel it always helps getting another perspective from someone else.  We do not have to suffer alone, even though sometimes it feels like we are but many of us are suffering with the same symptoms. I have decided to rename the term at least for my own reference as I feel the common term Ascension symptoms conjures up images of the rapture and may be a bit unapproachable for those who are new to all of this. 

There is plenty of information on the web and in books that discuss the times we are now in.  To recap we are no longer on the timeline for death and destruction which had been prophesied by so many.  Anilihation was very much on the cards for the human race but this has now all changed. In its place a new timeline has emerged with new beginnings allowing a new consciousness not seen for many ages to perservere on our planet.  This new age is termed the Age of Aquarius.  A move towards more balance in our society is very real.  Many of the changes we are seeing in our financial systems on a global scale are only confirming that the old ways are no longer being permitted.  We will continue to see the destruction of old systems whether they be financial or political at an alarming rate so in a sense we are still very much only at the beginning of a great change to come.

This is due to the new arrival of energy entering our Earth through high level frequencies being carried by solar storms.  The energy of the solar storms carries with it new coded information that work with Earth’s magnetics.  Alot of research has been done on the shift of Earth’s magnetosphere in the last few years as it has shifted quite dramatically.  The Earth also has a new spin again this has been researched and well documented and since 2004 this has become ever more prevalent. Many of the lightworker family have also been working whether consciously or unconsciously to help raise the vibration of the planet  which over the years has taken its toll on many of us.  For some we have now been released from this, while others take our place fighting the dark and helping to raise the vibration of the planet.

One of the first symptoms I feel impoortant to note is the raising of your kundalini. From this point many of the symptoms you face will be related to this shift of energetics that takes place in the body.  In one of my articles I discuss my own experience when my kundalini began to awake.  I won’t review the story here but suffice is to say I had no idea what was going on with me. Kundalini awakenings are like alarm clocks going off in the DNA signalling that it is time for the body to make a shift.  Many of us are experiencing spontaneous kundalini awakenings which is unprecendented.  You are not alone in this. Kundalini awakenings for some create great anxiety in the body and I believe anxiety plays very much into the release of kundalini. I was an anxiety wreck for years before my kundalini even released and once it did for another year or so I suffered very badly with anxiety and panic attacks.  Then one day suddenly the anxiety disappeared and I began to be calm. My body felt as if it had been cleared of a great weight and I literally felt lighter.  A good reliever of anxiety is hynoptherapy this will help you to clear your emotional body and get rid of the fears and blockages that you are being forced to face. It will also help you control the anxiety and panic attacks. It may not relieve these symptoms completely but it will offer much needed assistance without having to take mainstream medications.

Of course feelings of anxiety will bring on interrupted sleep and sleeping problems are very much a symptom of ascension related problems.  Only a few years ago I was barely sleeping and when I did I would sleep for 2-3 hours at a time and then wake up.  I went through a long cycle where I would take an eternity to fall asleep then wake up at 3.00am and stay awake for the rest of the night.  These type of sleep cycles are quite common and again you are not alone even though it feels like it in the dead of night.

Feeling extremely hot and extremely cold.  Again unusual feelings of heat will rise through the body when your kundalini releases.  You can feel extremely hot one minute and extremely cold an hour later.  A common side affect of rising kundalini is ascension flu. This is extreme heat where you feel you are burning from the inside and your crown chakra hurts immensely.  When you experience this know that you are releasing a large amount of toxins and karmic baggage.  When you experience ascension flu it usually lasts for 24 to 48 hours. If you try to go to a doctor no doubt they will not understand what you are talking about.

Body convulsions.  The first year my kundalini released I would literally wake up after feeling like an earthquake had moved through my body.  I had never had anything like this happen to me before but my whole body would literally vibrate and shake.  Again it is the kundalini energy releasing and moving throughout the body cleansing the chakras.

Feeling like you are wired and out of your body. I suffered very badly with this when my kundalini first activated.  I literally felt as if I was hovering outside of my body for months before I began to feel grounded in my body once again.  When the energies are very heavy and pounding this feeling becomes very difficult for me. I always know when new energies have arrived as this feeling is a great indicator.  When I feel this way I centre myself and tell myself to relax as it will pass.  It is a strange feeling and there is no easy way around it.  Again it is just the physical body adjusting to the frequency of energies and most likely our lightbodies bouncing between dimensions.

Phantom death.  There is not alot of information on the internet about phantom deaths but I am sure they are on the rise.  This is not a real death but when you experience this it is as if the door closes on the life you once knew and you feel yourself moving into a new reality.  I experienced my phantom death when I was very ill.  My kundalini had activated and I was unable to move, sleep, and barely eat for two months.  My crown chakra hurt intensely and I was in great pain.  As I laid in pain I felt death around me and for a split second I’m sure I did die.  I would say I had experienced an exit point and I was given a choice to leave or stay.  I decided to stay but soon after the person I had always been began to demand great change and so everything in my life altered.

Steve Rother has released a great video about ascension symptoms and I would encourage you to watch it.  There are so many symptoms more than I have listed here.  Know that others are experiencing these symptoms as well and it is all for a great cause.  Your evolution.

http://www.lightworker.com/EvolutionCenter/Events/Fundamentals/Symptoms-2010_06.php

Valentine St Aubyn

Mercury turns direct and clarity returns

Well, one thing is for certain, I’m so glad that this last mercury retrograde phase is coming to a close. I cannot stress how emotional of a period it has been for many of us. The energy out there was so chaotic that I had to really step back and take a breath. The last two weeks of April and early May were incredibly intense to say the least and I was like a yo yo having my insides turned upside down with emotion and confusion. It is hard for me to gage how the energies affect others on the outside world but I would have to guess that many have been on a knife edge. I have very little to do with the outside world these days, and I’m glad for that. I enjoy being in my cocoon. I spend my time writing and I work nights. Working nights has given me a much needed rest from annoying people and lower denser energies. The last few years were very volatile for me. As I transmuted and worked through many of my issues I was faced on several occasions in my professional life with hostility that was beyond the ordinary and bordered on outright violence. However, the challenges I went through from 2006-2009 in particular have brought me to where I am now. In a new space, where I am learning to re-claim my power. One of Steve Rother’s channellings summed it up for me very well, learning how to put self first has been a weakness I have suffered with for my entire life. Not that I have been a rug for others to walk all over but I have often found it difficult putting up boundaries. Well, now I no longer suffer from that and all the work I have done through my ascension process has brought me to this point, which I am very thankful for even though I have made it kicking and screaming.

I believe in these last few weeks I and many of us have been through another transmutation phase hence why at least for myself my emotions were so dark and I was all over the place. I am a naturally positive person with Sagittarius Rising ruled by Jupiter and although I have my down moments, feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in misery is not something I give into often. Yet, something very deep was taking place in these last couple of weeks and it was intensified by the Mercury retrograde phase. Mercury retrograde periods usually ask us to review and re-think things. It is not a time to initiate new projects and I can say this with certainty as I have tried to launch new projects during a Mercury retrograde period and they always need to be reviewed a few months later. Yet something was definitely afoot and I think many of us came to some heartfelt conclusions.

We’ve been down a long and hard road. I’m certainly not a first waver and can honestly say that I was not consciously aware of my ascension process until 2007, although I do believe I began my ascension awakening back in 2000. It took me years to figure out what was going on with me and when I finally learned it was this thing called ‘ascension’ I was relieved that I was not going crazy. But I have never fit into mainstream life and have often wished to be on another planet so thinking on these terms was not new for me anyway. The times we are now living in are certainly very trying and the energies are pushing us to continuously transmute and grow, it never stops for any of us. I constantly have to keep learning exactly what ascension and all that is related to it means.

And that is what I want to stress in this post. As the month of May opened Karen Bishop wrote one of her darkest Wings post I have ever read, and then on the 15th May she said good-bye to us.  I feel sad seeing her go.  Her energy alert posts put so much into perspective for me over the last few years and I honestly have to say that I resonated with her work.  However, it doesn’t surprise me that she is moving on as we are all being pushed to grow and to do more work.  I have found over the last year that the information that may have resonated with me a few years ago no longer remains true the way it first did.  I caught myself just a couple of weeks ago thoroughly disagreeing with David Wilcock on a few issues.  I’ve always enjoyed David’s work but now that he is becoming ever more mainstream I find myself sifting through the information he presents with a more critical eye than I have in the past.  Even the founders of Project Camelot who have given us some great whistleblower documentaries have fallen out with each other.  So, indeed nothing stays the same but then why should it anyway?

At the end of last year I wanted to connect with others out there like myself as I was feeling quite lonely. I found myself drifting into a particular forum which I will not name. I was vulnerable due to all of the chaos I had been through and was looking outside of myself to gain clarity. The funny thing is, I do not care for forums these days. They have helped me in the past but I have now moved on from them. Well, it simply wasn’t for me and some of the belief systems that were being purported were quite scary to be honest. The ideas were far too dark for my palette probably due to all of the transmuting and releasing I have done over the years.  But it helped me to realise something. I felt I was meant to experience this to help me understand that no one truly has all the answers. Others hold a belief system depending on the experiences and what they believe to be true but it doesn’t necessarily make it right. Discernment has become a very important tool for me and I always get cold ripples of energy moving through me if I read something that resonates with me.

I feel that more and more of us are becoming our own guidance. We’ve journeyed through our ascension process over the years, read a lot of material, educated ourselves but it is up to us to find the answers that fit the journey we are presently taking. So I would like to say thank you to Karen and many others who have helped me understand what ascension is over the years but I think it is now time for me to go more within to find the answers. Maybe that’s what this Mercury retrograde period was forcing many of us to discover. I do feel like doors closed there was a finality, a kind of death in the energy that was in the air which was very evident, which I myself fell prey to. But with every ending there is always a new beginning if you choose.

Valentine St Aubyn

 

Tired, tired and more tired

When 2010 started I knew this was going to be one hell of a year.  Forget what was happening in the news in my own life my husband and I separated again for a second time and an aunt who I had had a long  and complicated history with committed suicide.  Change was on the horizon and I had to buck up and role with the dice whether I liked it or not.

So here we are in May2010 and the planet is definitely catching on fire, no pun intended. We’re experiencing an on-going volcano ash crisis in Europe, an oil spill that threatens our global ecosystem, countries going bankrupt ie. Greece, Spain, Portugal (and the UK who is not too far behind), mass death of political figures in Poland that has been proven not to be an accident, America and Iran firing off at one another and Thailand fighting for change.  We have certainly entered into some rather chaotic energy and boy are we living and feeling it.  In one of my previous posts I discussed just how tired I had been feeling as of late.  And it is not only me it is others as well.  I have come across, quite innocently, on  a forum I frequent although do not participate in others complaining of either sleeping too much or not sleeping at all.  Over the last few years I slept very little waking up 2 to 3 times a night.  It is part of the new sleep cycle many of us are experiencing and it drove me crazy.  It also intensified the anxiety that I was suffering with.  Now, I have been sleeping, sometimes 15 hours in a day and still barely can keep my eyes open.  When I work, which is for me writing, I can sustain about 5 hours maximum and then my whole body shuts down and is ready for a rest.

I recenty came across an article by Tom Kenyon, which has given me some needed new insights on the exhaustion I have been experiencing and so I share it with others as I know I am not alone in this.  Funny, this week especially I have barely had any energy to do anything and writing has been out of the question, today seems to be an oddity.  I then a couple of days ago realised that the Volcano in Iceland that has been causing much trouble for Europe has been at it again.  Stirring and erupting.  Most likely my body has been reacting to this latest eruption.  God knows what I will feel like when, I stress when, the sister Volcano Katla begins to erupt.  I assume I as many others will be bed ridden for the next couple of years!

Before I include Tom Kenyon’s article I would like to comment on the article that Karen Bishop has recently posted, ‘The Three Options.’  I am a great follower of Karen’s work and feel the movements that she describes without a doubt.  This last post really resonated with me and once I feel more stable within myself I will write an article articulating what I have been experiencing.  Within my feelings of tiredness and exhaustion I found this last week incredibly difficult emotionally.  One minute I’m fine the next I am crying.  The emotion has been deep and I have been unable to fight off some of the darkness I have been feeling.  It is interesting that in this latest post Karen discusses one of the options we have is death.  I had concluded to myself only yesterday before I read her latest post that if X,Y and Z had not happened to me by age 43 then I would like to be released and move on.  I did not know where this was coming from it is unlike me to think in these ways but obviously it must be something many of us are being faced with.  I like many others have lost alot and I am not even 4o yet.  Others of my age group are having babies and enjoying life while I sit and suffer in silence losing everything I have ever known in my life that has helped me define who I am.  Astroloically speaking I haven’t even hit the Uranus opposition which is supposed to bring on the mid-life crises phase. Life has been very challenging for me and I have had to experience great loss.  When you experience several large scale losses in life it becomes harder and harder to believe a bright future is ahead of you. So, I was actually relieved to read this from Karen and can completely relate to how she must be feeling.  I can feel the sadness in her words and have fully resonated with how she is feeling.  I feel for some of us these feelings are very raw and real.  In the next week or so I will elaborate on this a bit futher, but at the present time I do not feel ready to discuss these darker feelings that have been making me think of death quite yet.

Anyway, below is an article by Tom Kenyon which discusses the purpose of the earthquakes and volcanoes we are experiencing and how they are interrelated and impact us.  There is some very good information here that should help you answer why you have been feeling so tired.

Until next time.

Valentine St Aubyn

2010, Living with change and experiencing the new

Image of the destruction caused by the Hatian earthquake

Happy belated New Year and a warm welcome to all of you who have been visitors here on my blog and to all the new visitors.  I am relieved and delighted to see 2009 finally end.  I am sure I am not alone as many of us experienced the uneasy ups and downs last year brought.

It’s taken me almost 6 weeks to sit down and write to you all.  My soul has been wanting to but it’s as if I was asked to wait for the right moment.  2010 has come in quite dramatically for me, and if it has for me then it has for others as we are all connected at the higher levels.  Astrologically, I have read about the upcoming cardinal climax that will be occurring around the Spring and as always my body is feeling the incoming energies quite intensely.  2010 will be a dramatic year for the world so hold on to your seats. The energies are quite abrupt and I felt them intensifying during the last few weeks of December! Feelings of exhaustion have been plaguing me, and I am now determined to get to the root cause of it all.  Yes we are being pounded with energies from our solar system at a great level, but I gather I must have a block in one of my chakras as well. Working on ourselves never stops.

Nevertheless, I aptly named this article with the above title at the beginning of 2010.  Little did I know how relevant this subject would be on a micro and macro level.  The earthquake in Haiti certainly did announce that 2010 will be a watershed year.  I believe that over 200,000 Haitians have since died.  It is a mass departure of souls but yet it is likely that we have now entered a time period where more and more souls will leave allowing the new souls to arrive in the form of Indigo and Crystal children.  In my family, I had recently been given very bad news around the time of the earthquake.  An aunt of mine who I had many problems with over the years killed herself.  I will leave out all of the details but we had a very challenging relationship as she was not the easiest person ego wise to deal with.`Her departure has left a hole in our family.  Many of us question what we could have done differently to help her.  I feel everything happened the way it was supposed to, and she came into this incarnation to have the experience she did.  With her removal from my life there is a new energy that has emerged.  A new beginning if you like as I no longer have to be drawn into the negativity that came with our interaction. 

In addition, my long-term marriage and relationship has finally ended its course.  I have laboured for 3 years to hold on, but the necessary change is to hard to fight.  My husband and I will always love each other and we were great teachers to one another but as with everything happening now it is time to close one door and open another.

It seems that on a large scale this is happening to others too.  Negativity that once seemed to have full reign to create chaos is now breaking down.  Many souls who are not in tune with the new energies are leaving and many new souls are coming here to take their place.   I have just learned of the death of the Fashion designer Alexander McQueen.  It seems more and more high profile individuas are also choosing to leave at this time.  Interesting that he committed suicide just as my aunt did- the energies certainly seem to be pushing people to their limit at the moment.  For some it may be too much I feel. It is sad for many of us who are losing family members and friends, relationships, or our jobs, regardless there are alot of endings bouncing around in many of our lives. But there is also a certain amount of relief that is existent within all of this if only we see the other side of all of this change.  We have a chance to begin again.  Create a new world.

I believe that the new earth is here.  I feel I am living it daily.  I have little contact with the old world and many people  in it.  I work nights and use the time to prepare my novel which will be coming out soon. I have been working tirelessly on the editing of my manuscript before ‘I send it to my publisher.  I also use the time to write the second book in the series.  I enjoy the limited contact I have with the outside world and have been meeting nicer softer souls when at work.  They are not in tune with the metaphysical side, but they are good people nevertheless.

I can definitely feel that the new is here.  It may be shrouded around some sadness as we let go of our past but better times are ahead of us. 

Valentine St Aubyn

The separation of the worlds, and experiencing the deconstruction of our ego selves

Throughout my whole life I have done alot of soul searching.  I’ve never been willing to accept everything I read and hear and have always dug further under the surface.  That’s why at age 13 I read the bible  trying to understand the message that was presented and thought that I would be going to hell because I just wasn’t able to believe that the Christian God was a loving and caring creator, he could not scare me into believing.  At age 19 I was reading about the history of various revolutions and counter revolution campaigns created by the CIA to stop them.  By age 21 I was learning about mind control and how advertising is built upon subliminal messages that make you want to buy what they are selling, and of course sex is used as the master manipulator in their campaigns.  All in all I was never a willing participant in the world I was born into and have been ostracised for my beliefs over the years. 

Many of us share these experiences of not easily being decieved, supposedly it is an Indigo trait, we are the oddbins of society and live on the fringes poking fun at the mainstream.  And then here comes what so many have termed ascension.  We are blasted even further away from the mainstream and have no desire to play ball or go back to the old world that we never cared much for anyway.  Our egos begin the process of deconstruction and before we even have time to digest and think about what has happened to us  in a flash our lives are truly changed forever.  It would be nice to put a ‘The end’ caption to wrap this up but as many of us have learned the work still continues, and most likely will for the rest of our lives.

This last year has for me been one of the most challenging.  In particular I have found the energies since the summer solstice to be extremely revealing and intense.  The one thing I have learned about the ascension process is that you, meaning the you that is conscious and having an experience, the ego, is relentlessly stripped and cleansed step by step, over and over, layer by layer.  There is no right or wrong in the process and everyone will have experiences that reflect the reality they believe to help them transform and grow.  But when you hit certain ‘ingrained and stubborn programs’ within yourself that’s when the fireworks really take off.

I have managed to hit a few of my own ‘immovable’ programs which I didn’t even realise were there and have actually managed to surprise myself in new and bizarre ways.  I have been learning alot about reality and my point of perception over the last few months.  And have fully accepted that to change the outside world we must first start with ourselves on the inside, because we are the creators of what we feel, hear and touch.  I have hit a new phase with myself and have begun to see just how programmed I am, and do you know what, I don’t like it.  The truth is we are all programmed it is the price we pay to live in 3D reality, think of it in terms of the matrix.  The trick is realising that it is happening to you and then trying to break free from it, at least step by step. It is the choice between the blue or the red pill. 

I’ve been reading alot about the separation of the old 3D world and how we will be creating a new world which many of us are now existing in.  I’ll leave the questions of did we miscalculate or get it wrong for others to answser, as I really do not know, and to be honest I am glad I was removed from the old 3D world even if it is only dimensionally.  What I have begun to fully realise and integrate within myself is that I cannot begin to create the new until I get a handle on my old programming.  The programming comes in many forms such as;  that government is here to help us – wrong, and we as a collective are definitely seeing this for ourselves, or at least some of us are.  That Hollywood makes cute and inocuous movies, wrong, Hollywood is one of the main programmers and we should not take what we see lightly.  Until I get a handle on my own belief systems, my old shit keeps rearing its ugly head, which is putting a damper on the new life I am trying to create for myself in this new world.

 And this is what has been throwing me for a loop because there is alot of stuff within myself that has helped me over the years to create the world I see and it hasn’t all been bad, just 90% of it.  Now, it is all being broken down and eroded away and it feels very unsettling.  To be honest, I am surprised that I have so many triggers, but I do, and it is a part of living in 3D reality, but it is now time to move beyond them.

The separation from the old 3D world is a challenge for those of us taking part.  We can no longer hide from ourselves or skip along without looking at our belief systems. Quite the contrary,  to create the new we have to completely let go of the old and that includes how we have always thought of ourselves, what we truly want in our lives and who we want around us.  I have spoken to a few people about the economy and have realised that they basically want to keep the same old system with a few new changes.  But I don’t, I’m so tired of money and I would love a new world without the care of money.  And I think this is what makes us different from so many others, we’ve just basically had enough of all of it and it is time to completely change it all. 

In a short time I have lost some really close people to me because of the new ways that I think and to be honest I spend most of my time alone.  My old world has been shattered, and is currently being realigned.  I am not bitter but maybe a bit sad that I have to leave people I care about behind, but we are all free to think for ourselves and choose what is best for us on this journey. 

Valentine St Aubyn

Back to life and out of the void

I love the synchronicity of things it’s like the sprinkling of fairy dust! After I wrote my last post ‘Life in the void, being broke, and loving every minute of it?’ I visited Karen Bishop’s website, who is one of my favourite energy readers, and I was so pleased to see her post from the 18th November 09,   The Opening of 11:11 and the New Energy Surge , literally within minutes of reading her post my phone began to ring and I was invited for an interview for a part-time post I had applied for.  The office I had been working at on a temporary basis also got in touch later that day needing me to come in once again to help out in the coming weeks.  Since the 19th of November I have been out of the void and existing on the fringes of 3-d reality.  I say this because as the 09.09.09 portal separated the old 3-d world from the new world I have noticed that my contact with others has been very limited.  Even the new part-time job I have is working during the nights, keeping me safe from the harsher energies as my body has now become extremely sensitive to the lower denser energies.

In my last post ‘Life in the void, being broke, and loving every minute of it?’, I described the process of what life was like when going through periods of what is termed ‘in the void’.  During the process of ascension or spiritual awakening, these quiet moments are extremely important.  As the body is lifting its vibration, purging and releasing the most one can do  is get lots of rest, cry if you need to, drink plenty of water and get out of the way of our higher selves, so that we can create the necessary connections for our next phase.  These void periods come in cycles and there is no exact time frame for how long they last.  I have had void periods that last only for a couple of months to almost a year.  It really depends on how much processing and releasing your body needs and how you react to the process. 

From the many responses I have had privately and here on the blog many of you are also experiencing this, which is very normal and common for those of us now choosing to awake.  So, some of you may just be entering void periods and others may be coming out and reemerging once again.  There is no right or wrong and we are all moving along on different timelines to get to the same point, it is all part of the process.  So enjoy these times and think about what you truly want in your life and what you no longer will tolerate.

Now, more than anytime our lives are being dismantled and restructured as we hurdle towards 2012 and beyond.  2012 is not about the end of the world,  this is an old timeline that has been eradicated with the energy of the harmonic convergence. It will however be very much a marker of new beginnings for our new ways of life and what we belive is ‘real’.  For me I forsee 2012 and the next two years 2010 and 2011 ushering in the dismantling of our mind control programmes for those that want to awake.  When you move beyond the manipulation and mind control programmes of the 3d world you really understand just what is going on in our world, and it ain’t pretty… at all.  I am not convinced that everyone will wake up or that we will all hold hands and sing songs of love.  There will still be alot of problems to overcome, but I do believe it will become harder for our governments to decieve us, and for us to decieve ourselves, at least for a small percentage of us.

So while you experience your void periods try to relax and know that you are being guided.  When it’s over, you will soon be busy and will want another rest soon.

Valentine St Aubyn

Life in the void, being broke, and loving every minute of it?

Without a doubt 2009 has been a very difficult year for me as it has been for many others going through deep and profound changes.  For me it’s been a long cycle which started in full in 2007 and has lingered ever since.  I have been reshaped, reformed, cleansed, purified, turned upside down and inside out, removed, detached, abused and loved and have experienced every emotion that is possible to describe with human words.  I have cried and laughed and felt completely no emotion at all wondering what in blazing saddles is going on in my life.  Unfortunately, I wasn’t born with being able to see through dimensions or have conversations with star beings which I would have loved to of had but I was born quite sensitive and have the ability to feel energy at a deep level.  I’m glad there are others out there such as Karen Bishop, Lisa Renee, Steve Rother who have this talent and can articulate what is happening to us as it is such a transformative journey and we all need help and guidance along the way. 

Over the last few years, as I have been on my ascension journey, I have gone through a few cycles where I have been completely withdrawn from the world around me.  I can’t say I mind, I do not care much for mainstream life and would very much like to go and live on a much more sophisticated and loving planet.  However, for now I am here and so I and many of us who are sensitive to the denser energies are trying to make the most of it.

Over the last few years I have noticed a distinct and reoccurring pattern that exists.  I enter into moments of complete detachness where absolutely nothing happens in my life for months and months and at the moment I am in another one of those phases.  For me it began in September with the 09.09.09 portal.  The phone stopped ringing,  the temporary job I had folded and everything around me halted, except for the creative work I am doing for my novel that will be published early next year.  This phase is often described as the ‘void’  and is a big part of ascension and many of us have and are currently experiencing this.  I will leave the more technical aspects of the cleansing and purging that comes with this to the experts but the void is a necessary phase that happens in cycles as our bodies assimilate the new energies that are being pumped into the planet.  During these periods I am always out of work whether I like it or not, can only focus and concentrate for short periods of time, am completely removed from others, and spend alot of time in my own home and pretty much feel like doing very little.  In 3-D reality we are taught we must have a job,  we should always be doing something and working ourselves to death to show just how successful we are.  So, when you jump out of 3-D reality and move into the higher realms we soon realise there are many levels where work can occur that do not adhere to the rules of 3-D perception.  And although we may have alot of work to get on with such as creative projects or planning our new businesses we just can’t muster enough energy to sit and do it all day as we could in the past.

I find life in the void scary and comforting all at the same time.  I am always working through alot within myself during these periods and spend alot of time crying and releasing as I often feel very alone and detached from everyone and everything around me.  My crown chakra tends to hurt alot and the laying down position is my favourite as it makes me feel at ease.  I always manage to get sick.  And this cycle is no different I have had the flu, vomitted, been having stomach aches, and have felt absolutely exhausted even though I have been getting plenty of rest and have been able to relax all day long.  However, unfortunately I have a mortgage and bills to pay so although we are being asked by the higher levels to use this time and transmute and process I find it very hard to fully relax. 

I have to admit somehow my financial needs are strangely being met.  They do not all get met,  if I may add, but I still have a roof over my head and I have been through a few phases of the void in the past and have come out at the other end still standing and with a home.  I eat regularly so much so that I’ve managed to put on weight and I am not someone who puts on weight easily.  As everything in my life has been stripped away I do not have many material things left, I have no car to maintain and no credit cards to worry about everything has been shaved down to the bare mininum.  This also includes personal relationships including my marriage which has experienced many ups and downs over the last few years and at the moment my husband and I have been separated from each other.

I am broke, and forced to accept help from others, something that does not sit well with me as I have always worked for everything I have.  Even when I try to help myself and look for work I am rudely reminded that I no longer belong in the old world.  This week I recently tried to join an agency to look for employment.  Although my novel will be available to buy at the beginning of next year and I am trying to become self employed delivering historical workshops, I still need outside help financially.  I was rudely turned away as I was not able to pass a credit check to get a particular job, have you ever heard anything so ridiculous?  At another agency I was not accepted because I had the audacity to tell the agency that I had life goals  and write creatively on the side and was looking for something part-time or temporary.  They were not happy with this because the employers want to know that you will dedicate yourself to the job wholly, meaning you are not allowed to have a brain of your own.

So I continue to live my life in the void and try to enjoy being broke and living simply.  I will surrender myself to the experience once again and will try to stay in the now and look forward to the new beginnings that will hopefully begin for myself and many of us in 2010.

Valentine St Aubyn