Releasing the old 3D world and accelerating into 5D consciousness is hard work

There is no doubt that we are living in precarious times.  I often ask people that I know if they actually believe we are still living in the same world we were born into.  I often get a strange look but it’s not an odd question it just depends on the consciousness ladder you are residing on.  I have come to the conclusion that experiencing ascension is a strange ride.  When I listen to others who describe their kundalini awakening as a blissful moment full of love I have no idea what they are talking about.  My kundalini awakening was painful and brought on psychosis and soon after my life collasped and is still collasping as we speak.  I have previously written about my own experience of kundalini awakening in older posts so if you are experiencing this right now please look through the archives. 

 This phenomena which is being labelled ascension is meant to release you from the old level of consciousness you were born into and transform you into the true powerful being you truly are.  This in itself is fantastic I can’t tell you how much more clued in I am now since my kundalini kicked off which is a great gift.  I have also become more focused and eager to live my true purpose.  A few years ago I would not have had the confidence to be writing this blog.  But in the same breath I have become marginalised from friends and family and I often find myself alone as very few can relate to me as I have shifted and raised my vibration so much that I no longer resonate with the majority of those around me.  This is one of the biggest indicators that suggest you are leaving the old 3D world behind.  Everything that was created there has to be pruned, released and reborn.  This is not an easy journey there is alot of loss that is involved.  There is plenty of information about the shift of consciousness coming to this planet and when we look at what is happening in our world the collaspe is very evident.  It is a moderately slow collaspe not everything is disappearing all at the same time but the intensity is certainly gathering momentum.  And just as in the macro in the micro we are experiencing these shifts and changes in our own lives too.  Part of the old framework is still there but the background is shifting and changing. 

Although I am more than happy to leave the old 3D world behind I do wonder if the 5D ‘new’ earth will be a better place.  At the moment very few of us are there on a regular basis.  We are sort of in limbo probably popping in and out as we still have to have regular contact with the old ways.  Also, there is so much division and deception within the new age community that I’m of the belief that there is still a long road to travel down.  I can’t tell you just how much junk is out there at the moment and I as many others have fallen prey to it from time to time.  There are so many self proclaimed gurus telling us how we should feel and what is what, and to me this is disappointing.  I have always loved the metaphysical world from an early age but just as everything else is collasping to be reborn I would say that this area is not immune.  It too needs to be cleared out so that the new and genuine can be born in its place.

So, I imagine at least for the time being that the new 5D earth will still have some hurdles to overcome as we slowly make the shif towards this new consciousness.  For each of us that which is no longer working for us is currently being taken away whether we like it or not inorder for us to move forward.  Relationships are breaking down, friendships ending and money, well, that’s a whole other subject but let’s be honest it’s pretty non-existent for those of us currently making this shift.  How many of us have even managed to keep a roof over our heads in the last few years is a miracle to say the least.  It’s been a very difficult time for many.

Yes making this shift of consciousness is hardwork.  It is tiring physically and mentally.  The aches, the pains, the tears,  the disappointments.  Cleaning out the soul in order to shift vibrationally is not just about feeling at peace with oneself there are also some distressing moments that need to be embraced, understood and resolved.  And this is part of the true journey. We must learn to assimilate the light and dark within us.  Some days the dark wins and other days the light.  We are humans and these qualities exist within us equally.  So, don’t feel bad if you are not shifting to 5D consciousness peacefully.  Some days I go kicking and screaming, other days with pain in my heart.  This is hard work and there are many out there who do not understand what we are going through.  They are not into this and probably never will be.  It still doesn’t stop the fact that this is happening and they too are shifting even if  they do not realise it, so keep your head up and feel with your heart.  That which does not resonate with you does not have to become part of your belief system or be embraced by you. 

Valentine.

Advertisements

No you are not crazy it’s just the energies of August

Feeling unbalanced, a bit paranoid, tearful, tired, exhausted, fed up?  Feeling like your life is on the verge of change but nothing has happened yet? Well, you’re not alone and this is the reality for many of us at the moment.  Last week I spent most of the hours of the day fighting extreme fatigue.  When I feel like this I know something big is on its way.  Yes, there are zones of conflict in the midst of turmoil as we speak.  The floods of Pakistan, the forest fires in Russia and Portugal and the continuing saga of the oil ‘disaster’ which is not being reported accurately by any means are just a few events that have kicked in since the cardinal cross at the beginning of the month began.  But as August opened we have also been inundated with new energies as the solar flare cycle which has been quiet for quite some time re-emerged firing off a massive ejection.  This only means one thing, new coded information is being hurled towards us and these energies have to be assimilated into our bodies and if I may add our conciousness which governs how we see, feel, and react.  I feel that August will be a month of incubation although a fiery seclusion waiting to burst.  And that all of these energies will climax which has been the theory all along but I believe we will have to wait until September and October before the fireworks go off. Which most likely will occur when Pluto awakens from its slumber in mid-September.  So be forwarned.

So if you have been having a hard time this month know it will pass and that you are not alone.  There are many shifts and changes going on in our lives at this time.  Endings are never easy but with every ending there is always a beginning.  I would like to leave you with the latest astrological weather report from Anne Ortelee who describes what we are currently experiencing very well.  I love the way she writes and she describes the energy of the moment so well.

Take care, Valentine.

Weekly Weather August 16, 2010

Our Cardinal T-square perfects this week, culminating in moments of choice for each of us. T-squares are crossroads in the heavens, asking us to make choices and choose our path. A three point heavenly cross guides us as we choose our next direction and head off towards our life. Often we come to a profound realization about ourselves during heavenly cross roads.

This cross road is a bit bigger than most others have been. There are 5 outer planets, which are societal and life direction planets, changing signs and starting new journeys. When the planet change signs, we change down here on earth too. As above, so below. As without, so within. We live in an interconnected world and universe where the symbolism and synchronicity interplay in our lives across time and space.

I always laugh and love it when some one asks me if I really believe in astrology. I reply “Of course I do. And YOU believe in astrology too! Even if you actually don’t realize it.” Asked to explain, often with a scowl on their face, (translated as: How dare I suggest that THEY believe in Astrology?), I reply “Well the Sun affects your behavior ~ you wear a coat in winter and sweat in the summer ~ just as the Sun impacts all life and causes the seasonal cycles of everything on earth. And the Moon makes the tides of the ocean move as well as the tides of water within you. The OCEAN! The Moon moves the Ocean! So if those TWO bodies have such a profound impact on us down here on earth, how can we ignore the other bodies up there?” And I smile sweetly, often with a giggle added, just for extra emphasis as in ~ you silly, you never thought of THAT before did you?

Weeks like the past few and the one to come, just affirm my understanding of the cycles and impact of same. We Virgos LOVE a good system for categorizing and organizing things. So forward we go to the t-square culmination that we’ve been waiting for! Our next chapter awaits us ~ as the heavens present us with a moment of choice.

But first a word of caution. I’ve had a few clients call with recent suicides in their lives, particularly that first week in August when Mars was so active. This is a big week for feeling you can’t take it a moment more and acting on it too. Another big suicide week. Soooooo, IF you know someone who has been having a particularly hard time lately, take the time to give them a call and talk to them. Let them know that this week is particularly hard energetically. And that all the difficult energy will start to abate after the weekend. However, THIS week will be tough so you want them to know you love them and would like to help in any way you can. They know you believe in that astrology stuff ~ and in a secret part of their being, they resonate to it (even if they don’t admit it on the surface or to your face). Heck, you always get the problems that happen during a Mercury retrograde right!

So encourage them to make NO PERMANENT decisions or final solutions to their problems to the extent possible. No acting out their inner Mel Gibsons or Steven Slaters, even if they really, really want to deploy the emergency exit chute while chugging a beer. And if they mention they are thinking of killing themselves or killing some one else, talk to them, all night long if need be. Get them help. Take it SERIOUSLY! This is the week when they will act on it. If they are thinking they are having a nervous breakdown, take them to the hospital. If some one is stalking or threatening someone you know, encourage the person to get OUT of their normal life routines for the week. And to be careful. No points for bravery. No cavalier dismissing it as foolishness. Take care of yourself and others this week.

I hate to be an alarmist astrologer but some weeks are rougher than others. This week we have Jupiter opposing Saturn for the second time and Saturn squaring Pluto for the third time. Saturn/ Pluto is a terrorist aspect. Jupiter /Saturn is separating hardship, endings and structure from the good times and sense of optimism. The planets are in signs that are CARDINAL so they like to take action! And Uranus is at the crazy making degree of 29 Pisces, where the boundaries between illusion and delusion are very, very frayed and fragile. We need to take good care of each other this week.

Essentially, we will all be fighting or arguing with the principle of being our own authority, growing up and being the adult in the room. Part of us wants to be a big kid and stomp our feet. Part of us knows we have to grow up now. Jupiter and Pluto are both Saturn’s kids. The kids are fighting with Dad, or the authority ~ perceived, believed, real or unreal, in their lives. We will be struggling with our own ideas of authority too. How grown up are we really? How much of us is still 5 and wanting to be comforted? We have to comfort ourselves this week.

Mercury stations to go retrograde after setting off the t-square by declination aspect which finds him siding with Saturn and fighting with Uranus and Jupiter. So expect unexpected news that is rather shocking. Sun opposes Neptune and Chiron so the sense of illusion or the dream dissolves and you see things clearly that you may not have seen before. Both Venus and Mars have hard aspects to Neptune and Chiron too. In their case, the planets of desire and action are in a stressful place of needing to take action to find relief. And they are working together to start a new cycle right as all the other planets are collapsing in piles of exhaustion.

So take care of yourself. Take care of your loved ones. Get extra nurturing. Get your self extra support if your old addictions come a’ calling with all the tension in the sky. One of the things I noticed in the Steven Slater story was the reference to 12 steps and sobriety on his Face book page and the reporting that he grabbed a beer as he made his exit down the emergency slide after a very, very bad day at work. It is a VERY easy time to slip back into old destructive ways of nurturing yourself so be careful to get yourself extra support if you find yourself tempted.

And in a week it will be all over! If the financial markets are going to collapse, this is the week. So fingers crossed (and toes too) we all make it to the other side. I am rooting for you! And you need to root for you too. And make sure to root for the people in your life who need rooting for! We are all in this beautiful world together for a reason. And what a ride eh? Clear those cobwebs and fears! Full steam ahead to the next chapter!

 

Monday August 16 Moon in Scorpio kicks up some intense energy as the Sun has an aspect of brilliance. Moon has nice closing aspects of a trine to Uranus offering creative energy to draw upon. Make sure to note your dreams or great ideas upon awakening. Venus argues with the principle of health and healing shifting her energy to other areas. Be careful not to indulge in bad old behaviors today. Extra emotions abound as Jupiter approaches his opposition with Saturn. Fights with authorities…. Hmmm. Mars squares the nodes offering us the opportunity to choose up or down, good or bad, left or right, whining and crying or growing up. Or maybe a bit of both? It is a choice day. Jupiter opposes Saturn part two of three. Back to May 23rd, when they opposed each other for the first time. Their third time is March 28, 2011. Part two of the opposition asks you to focus on the project you began in May 28, 2000 when they joined at 22 Taurus to begin a new cycle. It calls to mind December 17, 2005, June 22, 2006 and October 25, 2006 when they squared each other, testing whether this was the right choice for you. Now, as they oppose each other, think about the changes you want or need to make to move your life and life’s work forward.

Tuesday August 17 Moon in Sagittarius answers to Jupiter, recently bruised after his fight yesterday with Saturn. The closing aspect is a square to Uranus suggesting separating energy that pushes you to a new place or wants to end a situation. It is a rocking and rolling day as there are numerous aspects in the heavens. Venus erupts with passion and moves rapidly affecting emotions, finances and desires. Mars links up with Eris, the Goddess of Discord to produce some mighty irritated and irritable energy. We are all cranky! Don’t take action if it is destructive. And most actions will be destructive. Be aware the desire is to go nuclear. And quickly. Will that actually HELP the situation? Venus, the principle of love, money and caring is deeply wounded today as she links up with Chiron. She also reaches the end of her proverbial rope. She’s frustrated and angry. Old wounds can be opened. Look at the wounds. Apply astringent. Clear it out. Clean it out. It is YOUR wound, but it existed in your soul to create the life you have. It will never go away but it can be nurtured back into silence or quiet. If you think about it, your wound actually helped you become who you are today. Wounds exist for a reason. Try to understand the reason. I know it hurts but that is the way to clarity.

Wednesday August 18 Moon in Sagittarius continues to push the energy forward passionately. Venus squares the nodes today offering her the same choice Mars had to make on Monday. Be careful not to operate out of your wound. What do you love? Is this situation part of getting you clear on what you want to create in your life? Maybe not with the person or situation standing right before you but it is something you want or need just the same. Be clear. Be brave. Hold your own hand. Support your self. Support your dream. Make a clear choice that supports your desire and life path. Don’t choose out of fear of your wound! Don’t act out of fear of or from your wound! Mars has an ending energy today as he has stresses and agonizes about the decision(s) before him. No permanent endings with knives, guns, jumps or pills! This is a decision time but not time for PERMANENT decisions. Caution around words as things can “end” today. Mars is fighting mad but also boxing against or with smoke and steam. What he is fighting is actually a figment or illusory battle of and in his own mind. Mars is building up a head of steam to take action. Try and reason with him. Or move out of his way. Be careful today. Take precautions. Even if YOU are crystal clear and paying attention, the OTHER guy can be totally out of his or her mind. Caution on angry encounters. Mars has a booster rocket on him today ~ and can be just as explosive. Sex can be completely amazing but there is a strong level of fantasy to all actions taken today so be aware of that as a subset of the energy. While it might look like an amazing partnership, reality is right around the corner. Mercury links up with Saturn by declination and receives very difficult news. Go home and pull the covers over your head (if you can) or call your support people. Relationships can end or transform today.

Thursday August 19 Moon in Capricorn brings us down to reality, with a loud bump. Mercury is slowing to a stop in the sky. Moon goes through the t-square ~ Capricorn Moon can be a critical and difficult energy today as we find the flaw or problem rather than the good parts. Our t-square is triggered yet again. Sun faces a stressful choice as it aspects the Nodes. The power of a booster rocket sets off Venus and her energy today as she too faces off and dissolves the illusions fostered by Neptune. It is NOT okay. There IS a problem! High emotions rule the day. Sun pushes for hope but Mars joins with powerful destructive energy today by declination. War? Collapses? Chaos? Something mighty, mighty big. Mercury fights with Uranus by declination. Words can cause endings, separations, chaos and changes today. Mercury is stopping in the sky as these aspects occur making the words even more powerful and potent. Sun has about had it with these difficult energies and wants to pull the plug on the situation. A great day for firings and break ups and crashes and collapses. The structure just can’t hold it together any more. Pluto asks us to take a new approach to partnerships that are not working for us any more. People can get on your last nerve. Remember the good times when you are feeling like lashing out. This is a transit. They are having crappy stuff on their side too.

Friday August 20 Moon in Capricorn receives a trine from stationing Mercury today. Mercury stopped in the heavens forces us all to look with new eyes at the dawning of a new day where everything is changed. Our souls feel enormous needs to stretch out and relieve the stress even as we feel more building within our being. Sun opposes Neptune so the clarity begins to break through the fog. We will start to see things clearly. This is what the crossroads was for in YOUR life. The moment of clearness arrives ~ or starts to arrive. High emotions move things rapidly. Venus fights with the Goddess of the Sea, Sedna, asking us to understand the role of our interconnected world. The oceans roar as emotions swirl. Mars and Venus both sesquiquadrate Chiron, opening old wounds, causing us to feel a bit ill perhaps. Chiron at the last degrees of Aquarius reminds us that we are all members of the same tribe, like it or not. What happens to one can happen to all. Venus joins with Mars today an hour before Mercury stations retrograde. Venus/ Mars square the Node and form a Hammer of Thor with Neptune and Chiron. Our beliefs and understanding of our world will be forever altered by the events of today. Our pattern of reality is changing before our eyes.

Saturn day August 21 Saturn squares Pluto in the early morning hours, finishing the third of three squares. The first was November 15 2009, the second was January 31, 2010 and the third is today. This is a terrorist or war aspect. It is active when ever we are experiencing terrorist activity. Moon is in deep places all day long allowing us to emotionally process the events of the last week. Sun opposes Chiron, activating the fears and wounds but also offering us an opportunity to take action and heal. Saturn forms a contraparallel aspect with Uranus which is mighty powerful for transformation and shifting of reality. We break free in a way we never have before. We break down in a way we never have before. Once we break, we can begin to heal. Vesta’s square says time will heal all and time will heal nothing. Some things can never heal.

Sunday August 22 Moon in Aquarius allows us to detach and move up 20,000 feet to get a better view of what is actually going on. Moon has helpful aspects as she goes through the t-square and attempts to make sense of what is going on. Sun is inconjunct Uranus asking us to adjust and find stability. Astraea, the asteroid of hygiene, cleanliness and astringency, crystal clear vision stations to go retrograde. We pucker a bit, like biting into a juicy lemon. It stings but also feels good. The energy starts to separate and abate. Relief is right around the corner.

Copyright © 2010 A. C. Ortelee

The Summer of 2010 and releasing through tears

I’m back! Please forgive my delay in posts July was a whirlwind of a month with the launch of my first novel, ‘Zoe Evans’ Possible Worlds the Crystal,’ and with all of the hard work I had been pouring in getting it ready for the publishers for publication I realised I needed a long break.  I think we often forget that overkill is not always the best remedy and at some point it catches up with you and the brain says “Stop! I need a break.”

Alas, I am recuperating which is what I want to discuss in this latest post.  This summer has been filled with some very emotional energy and it is still currently with us and will be as we move through the month of August.  As 2010 crept in at the beginning of the year I knew this was going to be a dramatic year for many of us.  For me a novel I wrote almost nine years ago was going to be published this year which was exciting but also exhausting.  So many of us are experiencing rapid change in our lives now.  I have never been a lucky person in life and things do not come easily to me.  I’ve always had to work very hard but now for many of us who have not had it easy we are realising that we have choices in life and we can create our own luck.

The lunar eclispe on the 26th June and the solar eclipse on the 11th July 2010 surely kicked up alot of stuff for many of us and we have now whether conciously or not embraced the fact that life is going to change whether we like it or not.  The energies that these eclipses kicked up have been very intense and completely tiring.  Eclipses are always emotional but I found the eclipses this summer to be very cathartic.  I am an Earth sensitive.  So I feel very in tune with any new energies that  hit our atmososphere and enter into our bodies.  At the end of June I cried it seemed all day for a week as the eclipse approached.  My crown chakra buzzed and felt tense as the energies hit my body.  I felt exhausted and was crying constantly.  I was not depressed but the sadness was deep. I was releasing although I was not clear exactly what I was releasing.  Sometimes when new energies hit the Earth it has this effect on us and I certainly was feeling the new albeit in a strange way.  But, I am sure others had similar experiences and I feel tears have been very dominant this summer. 2010 has been a very emotional year so far.  I would term it as the year of emotion.  The dramatic earthquakes that have hit Haiti, Chile, China and other places have been very draining energetically.  Couple this with the ash cloud in the early spring in Europe and the oil spill, or should I say ‘catastrophe’ in the Gulf  it is safe to say that world events have certainly shaken many of us up.  The solar eclipse on the 11th July certainly did bring fresh new positive energy in.  There was a lightness in the air for the first couple of weeks of July and I myself felt very uplifted for a short while in comparison to the moodiness I had to fight at the end of June. 

The dreaded and much talked about Cardinal Climax, Cardinal Cross came into fruition on the 6th August changing the energy once again.  I found myself feeling angry and low in energy from mid July and again the tears came back.  The energy that is currently around us reminds me of being in a ‘void’ period.  There is potential for growth but everything is delayed.  I have a sneaky feeling it is the quiet before the storm and I’m sure October will be an action packed month.  All of this energy is building towards something and as we have seen in the first half of 2010 this is not going to be a quiet year.

So in the meantime I have been laying low and keeping my distance from others.  Crying, releasing accepting the restrictions that are around and waiting for the clearing and infusion of new energy to take hold and deliver the news it has to bring.  

So if you feel like releasing tears during these times know you are not alone.  There is an unspoken malaise in the air, as if we are in a holding pattern.  Take a breath and as Depeche Mode say, “Enjoy the silence.”

Until next time.

Valentine

Planetary Ascension Symptoms

I know I have been feeling alot of pressure in my crown chakra area along with a few other niggles here and there and if I am then others are too. So I thought I’d present an article directly focused on Ascension symptoms as the energies are currently very heavy at the moment and with the upcoming cardinal cross in August these energies will continue to build.  If you do a web search you will find plenty of information on ascension symptoms, but I feel it always helps getting another perspective from someone else.  We do not have to suffer alone, even though sometimes it feels like we are but many of us are suffering with the same symptoms. I have decided to rename the term at least for my own reference as I feel the common term Ascension symptoms conjures up images of the rapture and may be a bit unapproachable for those who are new to all of this. 

There is plenty of information on the web and in books that discuss the times we are now in.  To recap we are no longer on the timeline for death and destruction which had been prophesied by so many.  Anilihation was very much on the cards for the human race but this has now all changed. In its place a new timeline has emerged with new beginnings allowing a new consciousness not seen for many ages to perservere on our planet.  This new age is termed the Age of Aquarius.  A move towards more balance in our society is very real.  Many of the changes we are seeing in our financial systems on a global scale are only confirming that the old ways are no longer being permitted.  We will continue to see the destruction of old systems whether they be financial or political at an alarming rate so in a sense we are still very much only at the beginning of a great change to come.

This is due to the new arrival of energy entering our Earth through high level frequencies being carried by solar storms.  The energy of the solar storms carries with it new coded information that work with Earth’s magnetics.  Alot of research has been done on the shift of Earth’s magnetosphere in the last few years as it has shifted quite dramatically.  The Earth also has a new spin again this has been researched and well documented and since 2004 this has become ever more prevalent. Many of the lightworker family have also been working whether consciously or unconsciously to help raise the vibration of the planet  which over the years has taken its toll on many of us.  For some we have now been released from this, while others take our place fighting the dark and helping to raise the vibration of the planet.

One of the first symptoms I feel impoortant to note is the raising of your kundalini. From this point many of the symptoms you face will be related to this shift of energetics that takes place in the body.  In one of my articles I discuss my own experience when my kundalini began to awake.  I won’t review the story here but suffice is to say I had no idea what was going on with me. Kundalini awakenings are like alarm clocks going off in the DNA signalling that it is time for the body to make a shift.  Many of us are experiencing spontaneous kundalini awakenings which is unprecendented.  You are not alone in this. Kundalini awakenings for some create great anxiety in the body and I believe anxiety plays very much into the release of kundalini. I was an anxiety wreck for years before my kundalini even released and once it did for another year or so I suffered very badly with anxiety and panic attacks.  Then one day suddenly the anxiety disappeared and I began to be calm. My body felt as if it had been cleared of a great weight and I literally felt lighter.  A good reliever of anxiety is hynoptherapy this will help you to clear your emotional body and get rid of the fears and blockages that you are being forced to face. It will also help you control the anxiety and panic attacks. It may not relieve these symptoms completely but it will offer much needed assistance without having to take mainstream medications.

Of course feelings of anxiety will bring on interrupted sleep and sleeping problems are very much a symptom of ascension related problems.  Only a few years ago I was barely sleeping and when I did I would sleep for 2-3 hours at a time and then wake up.  I went through a long cycle where I would take an eternity to fall asleep then wake up at 3.00am and stay awake for the rest of the night.  These type of sleep cycles are quite common and again you are not alone even though it feels like it in the dead of night.

Feeling extremely hot and extremely cold.  Again unusual feelings of heat will rise through the body when your kundalini releases.  You can feel extremely hot one minute and extremely cold an hour later.  A common side affect of rising kundalini is ascension flu. This is extreme heat where you feel you are burning from the inside and your crown chakra hurts immensely.  When you experience this know that you are releasing a large amount of toxins and karmic baggage.  When you experience ascension flu it usually lasts for 24 to 48 hours. If you try to go to a doctor no doubt they will not understand what you are talking about.

Body convulsions.  The first year my kundalini released I would literally wake up after feeling like an earthquake had moved through my body.  I had never had anything like this happen to me before but my whole body would literally vibrate and shake.  Again it is the kundalini energy releasing and moving throughout the body cleansing the chakras.

Feeling like you are wired and out of your body. I suffered very badly with this when my kundalini first activated.  I literally felt as if I was hovering outside of my body for months before I began to feel grounded in my body once again.  When the energies are very heavy and pounding this feeling becomes very difficult for me. I always know when new energies have arrived as this feeling is a great indicator.  When I feel this way I centre myself and tell myself to relax as it will pass.  It is a strange feeling and there is no easy way around it.  Again it is just the physical body adjusting to the frequency of energies and most likely our lightbodies bouncing between dimensions.

Phantom death.  There is not alot of information on the internet about phantom deaths but I am sure they are on the rise.  This is not a real death but when you experience this it is as if the door closes on the life you once knew and you feel yourself moving into a new reality.  I experienced my phantom death when I was very ill.  My kundalini had activated and I was unable to move, sleep, and barely eat for two months.  My crown chakra hurt intensely and I was in great pain.  As I laid in pain I felt death around me and for a split second I’m sure I did die.  I would say I had experienced an exit point and I was given a choice to leave or stay.  I decided to stay but soon after the person I had always been began to demand great change and so everything in my life altered.

Steve Rother has released a great video about ascension symptoms and I would encourage you to watch it.  There are so many symptoms more than I have listed here.  Know that others are experiencing these symptoms as well and it is all for a great cause.  Your evolution.

http://www.lightworker.com/EvolutionCenter/Events/Fundamentals/Symptoms-2010_06.php

Valentine St Aubyn

Tired, tired and more tired

When 2010 started I knew this was going to be one hell of a year.  Forget what was happening in the news in my own life my husband and I separated again for a second time and an aunt who I had had a long  and complicated history with committed suicide.  Change was on the horizon and I had to buck up and role with the dice whether I liked it or not.

So here we are in May2010 and the planet is definitely catching on fire, no pun intended. We’re experiencing an on-going volcano ash crisis in Europe, an oil spill that threatens our global ecosystem, countries going bankrupt ie. Greece, Spain, Portugal (and the UK who is not too far behind), mass death of political figures in Poland that has been proven not to be an accident, America and Iran firing off at one another and Thailand fighting for change.  We have certainly entered into some rather chaotic energy and boy are we living and feeling it.  In one of my previous posts I discussed just how tired I had been feeling as of late.  And it is not only me it is others as well.  I have come across, quite innocently, on  a forum I frequent although do not participate in others complaining of either sleeping too much or not sleeping at all.  Over the last few years I slept very little waking up 2 to 3 times a night.  It is part of the new sleep cycle many of us are experiencing and it drove me crazy.  It also intensified the anxiety that I was suffering with.  Now, I have been sleeping, sometimes 15 hours in a day and still barely can keep my eyes open.  When I work, which is for me writing, I can sustain about 5 hours maximum and then my whole body shuts down and is ready for a rest.

I recenty came across an article by Tom Kenyon, which has given me some needed new insights on the exhaustion I have been experiencing and so I share it with others as I know I am not alone in this.  Funny, this week especially I have barely had any energy to do anything and writing has been out of the question, today seems to be an oddity.  I then a couple of days ago realised that the Volcano in Iceland that has been causing much trouble for Europe has been at it again.  Stirring and erupting.  Most likely my body has been reacting to this latest eruption.  God knows what I will feel like when, I stress when, the sister Volcano Katla begins to erupt.  I assume I as many others will be bed ridden for the next couple of years!

Before I include Tom Kenyon’s article I would like to comment on the article that Karen Bishop has recently posted, ‘The Three Options.’  I am a great follower of Karen’s work and feel the movements that she describes without a doubt.  This last post really resonated with me and once I feel more stable within myself I will write an article articulating what I have been experiencing.  Within my feelings of tiredness and exhaustion I found this last week incredibly difficult emotionally.  One minute I’m fine the next I am crying.  The emotion has been deep and I have been unable to fight off some of the darkness I have been feeling.  It is interesting that in this latest post Karen discusses one of the options we have is death.  I had concluded to myself only yesterday before I read her latest post that if X,Y and Z had not happened to me by age 43 then I would like to be released and move on.  I did not know where this was coming from it is unlike me to think in these ways but obviously it must be something many of us are being faced with.  I like many others have lost alot and I am not even 4o yet.  Others of my age group are having babies and enjoying life while I sit and suffer in silence losing everything I have ever known in my life that has helped me define who I am.  Astroloically speaking I haven’t even hit the Uranus opposition which is supposed to bring on the mid-life crises phase. Life has been very challenging for me and I have had to experience great loss.  When you experience several large scale losses in life it becomes harder and harder to believe a bright future is ahead of you. So, I was actually relieved to read this from Karen and can completely relate to how she must be feeling.  I can feel the sadness in her words and have fully resonated with how she is feeling.  I feel for some of us these feelings are very raw and real.  In the next week or so I will elaborate on this a bit futher, but at the present time I do not feel ready to discuss these darker feelings that have been making me think of death quite yet.

Anyway, below is an article by Tom Kenyon which discusses the purpose of the earthquakes and volcanoes we are experiencing and how they are interrelated and impact us.  There is some very good information here that should help you answer why you have been feeling so tired.

Until next time.

Valentine St Aubyn