Throughout my whole life I have done alot of soul searching. I’ve never been willing to accept everything I read and hear and have always dug further under the surface. That’s why at age 13 I read the bible trying to understand the message that was presented and thought that I would be going to hell because I just wasn’t able to believe that the Christian God was a loving and caring creator, he could not scare me into believing. At age 19 I was reading about the history of various revolutions and counter revolution campaigns created by the CIA to stop them. By age 21 I was learning about mind control and how advertising is built upon subliminal messages that make you want to buy what they are selling, and of course sex is used as the master manipulator in their campaigns. All in all I was never a willing participant in the world I was born into and have been ostracised for my beliefs over the years.
Many of us share these experiences of not easily being decieved, supposedly it is an Indigo trait, we are the oddbins of society and live on the fringes poking fun at the mainstream. And then here comes what so many have termed ascension. We are blasted even further away from the mainstream and have no desire to play ball or go back to the old world that we never cared much for anyway. Our egos begin the process of deconstruction and before we even have time to digest and think about what has happened to us in a flash our lives are truly changed forever. It would be nice to put a ‘The end’ caption to wrap this up but as many of us have learned the work still continues, and most likely will for the rest of our lives.
This last year has for me been one of the most challenging. In particular I have found the energies since the summer solstice to be extremely revealing and intense. The one thing I have learned about the ascension process is that you, meaning the you that is conscious and having an experience, the ego, is relentlessly stripped and cleansed step by step, over and over, layer by layer. There is no right or wrong in the process and everyone will have experiences that reflect the reality they believe to help them transform and grow. But when you hit certain ‘ingrained and stubborn programs’ within yourself that’s when the fireworks really take off.
I have managed to hit a few of my own ‘immovable’ programs which I didn’t even realise were there and have actually managed to surprise myself in new and bizarre ways. I have been learning alot about reality and my point of perception over the last few months. And have fully accepted that to change the outside world we must first start with ourselves on the inside, because we are the creators of what we feel, hear and touch. I have hit a new phase with myself and have begun to see just how programmed I am, and do you know what, I don’t like it. The truth is we are all programmed it is the price we pay to live in 3D reality, think of it in terms of the matrix. The trick is realising that it is happening to you and then trying to break free from it, at least step by step. It is the choice between the blue or the red pill.
I’ve been reading alot about the separation of the old 3D world and how we will be creating a new world which many of us are now existing in. I’ll leave the questions of did we miscalculate or get it wrong for others to answser, as I really do not know, and to be honest I am glad I was removed from the old 3D world even if it is only dimensionally. What I have begun to fully realise and integrate within myself is that I cannot begin to create the new until I get a handle on my old programming. The programming comes in many forms such as; that government is here to help us – wrong, and we as a collective are definitely seeing this for ourselves, or at least some of us are. That Hollywood makes cute and inocuous movies, wrong, Hollywood is one of the main programmers and we should not take what we see lightly. Until I get a handle on my own belief systems, my old shit keeps rearing its ugly head, which is putting a damper on the new life I am trying to create for myself in this new world.
And this is what has been throwing me for a loop because there is alot of stuff within myself that has helped me over the years to create the world I see and it hasn’t all been bad, just 90% of it. Now, it is all being broken down and eroded away and it feels very unsettling. To be honest, I am surprised that I have so many triggers, but I do, and it is a part of living in 3D reality, but it is now time to move beyond them.
The separation from the old 3D world is a challenge for those of us taking part. We can no longer hide from ourselves or skip along without looking at our belief systems. Quite the contrary, to create the new we have to completely let go of the old and that includes how we have always thought of ourselves, what we truly want in our lives and who we want around us. I have spoken to a few people about the economy and have realised that they basically want to keep the same old system with a few new changes. But I don’t, I’m so tired of money and I would love a new world without the care of money. And I think this is what makes us different from so many others, we’ve just basically had enough of all of it and it is time to completely change it all.
In a short time I have lost some really close people to me because of the new ways that I think and to be honest I spend most of my time alone. My old world has been shattered, and is currently being realigned. I am not bitter but maybe a bit sad that I have to leave people I care about behind, but we are all free to think for ourselves and choose what is best for us on this journey.
Valentine St Aubyn