Hello everyone. So sorry for the short respite. I’ve been completely rushed off of my feet since the beginning of the year and it has taken me a while to catch up with myself.
So, we’ve finally made it to 2011. This is going to be an action packed year so I’ll warn you now. Not only on the public stage but also in our own private lives. If you’ve been trying to move forward with new projects but haven’t been getting anywhere then this year is the year. Many of us have been focused on 2012 as being the true start of the shift but from all accounts and resources I’ve listened to the new will be very obvious by the Autumn of 2011. What that looks like and what will transpire is still to be confirmed but I think it is safe to say that only the very stubborn and completely unevolved will not notice that their world is changing rapidly.
And let’s just talk about the change in the world. The events in Egypt are absolutely phenemonal. At this point in time Mubarak is still trying to cling on to his power although he has divulged in principle his powers and duties to his Deputy. If the Egyptians keep hanging on and doing what they have been they will overcome this and win the battle, and when they do the spirit of revolution will go viral. I want to call 2011 the’ year of revolutions’ because it will be very contagious.
We are in some great times and this is the time so many of us have fought so hard to be here for. There is nothing to be afraid of as so many of us we will be kept safe during this changing landscape. I want to use an expression Jelaila Starr has used, ‘There is no safe place only safe DNA.’ I know many people have a hard time with all of the information she puts forward about Nibiru but I definitely resonate with her theory that if you have been doing the necessary clearing work and facing your fears over these last few gruelling years you will not need to experience pain and confusion when the shit hits the fan. We bring to us the people and experiences we need to help wake us up. So many of us have already seen the darker days and will not need these experiences in future. Instead, we will become the beacons of light, the lighthouse in the middle of chaos to help inform others as to what is going on as I do believe we will all just wake up one day and realise our whole world has completely changed.
So, all of those dark times we have experienced over the last few years. The nasty characters that have tried to hurt us, the lost opportunities we have had to face as our lives fall apart, the bad health, the financial ruin, the tears and pain of loss its all been to help us clear our emotional baggage. So, if you have done the work and are doing the work this is now our time to start to live again and be safe while the world around us goes through its own emotional clearing stage.
I have included Jelaila Starr’s video which talks about this concept. It is very interesting and worth a look.
There is no doubt that we are living in precarious times. I often ask people that I know if they actually believe we are still living in the same world we were born into. I often get a strange look but it’s not an odd question it just depends on the consciousness ladder you are residing on. I have come to the conclusion that experiencing ascension is a strange ride. When I listen to others who describe their kundalini awakening as a blissful moment full of love I have no idea what they are talking about. My kundalini awakening was painful and brought on psychosis and soon after my life collasped and is still collasping as we speak. I have previously written about my own experience of kundalini awakening in older posts so if you are experiencing this right now please look through the archives.
This phenomena which is being labelled ascension is meant to release you from the old level of consciousness you were born into and transform you into the true powerful being you truly are. This in itself is fantastic I can’t tell you how much more clued in I am now since my kundalini kicked off which is a great gift. I have also become more focused and eager to live my true purpose. A few years ago I would not have had the confidence to be writing this blog. But in the same breath I have become marginalised from friends and family and I often find myself alone as very few can relate to me as I have shifted and raised my vibration so much that I no longer resonate with the majority of those around me. This is one of the biggest indicators that suggest you are leaving the old 3D world behind. Everything that was created there has to be pruned, released and reborn. This is not an easy journey there is alot of loss that is involved. There is plenty of information about the shift of consciousness coming to this planet and when we look at what is happening in our world the collaspe is very evident. It is a moderately slow collaspe not everything is disappearing all at the same time but the intensity is certainly gathering momentum. And just as in the macro in the micro we are experiencing these shifts and changes in our own lives too. Part of the old framework is still there but the background is shifting and changing.
Although I am more than happy to leave the old 3D world behind I do wonder if the 5D ‘new’ earth will be a better place. At the moment very few of us are there on a regular basis. We are sort of in limbo probably popping in and out as we still have to have regular contact with the old ways. Also, there is so much division and deception within the new age community that I’m of the belief that there is still a long road to travel down. I can’t tell you just how much junk is out there at the moment and I as many others have fallen prey to it from time to time. There are so many self proclaimed gurus telling us how we should feel and what is what, and to me this is disappointing. I have always loved the metaphysical world from an early age but just as everything else is collasping to be reborn I would say that this area is not immune. It too needs to be cleared out so that the new and genuine can be born in its place.
So, I imagine at least for the time being that the new 5D earth will still have some hurdles to overcome as we slowly make the shif towards this new consciousness. For each of us that which is no longer working for us is currently being taken away whether we like it or not inorder for us to move forward. Relationships are breaking down, friendships ending and money, well, that’s a whole other subject but let’s be honest it’s pretty non-existent for those of us currently making this shift. How many of us have even managed to keep a roof over our heads in the last few years is a miracle to say the least. It’s been a very difficult time for many.
Yes making this shift of consciousness is hardwork. It is tiring physically and mentally. The aches, the pains, the tears, the disappointments. Cleaning out the soul in order to shift vibrationally is not just about feeling at peace with oneself there are also some distressing moments that need to be embraced, understood and resolved. And this is part of the true journey. We must learn to assimilate the light and dark within us. Some days the dark wins and other days the light. We are humans and these qualities exist within us equally. So, don’t feel bad if you are not shifting to 5D consciousness peacefully. Some days I go kicking and screaming, other days with pain in my heart. This is hard work and there are many out there who do not understand what we are going through. They are not into this and probably never will be. It still doesn’t stop the fact that this is happening and they too are shifting even if they do not realise it, so keep your head up and feel with your heart. That which does not resonate with you does not have to become part of your belief system or be embraced by you.
I know I have been feeling alot of pressure in my crown chakra area along with a few other niggles here and there and if I am then others are too. So I thought I’d present an article directly focused on Ascension symptoms as the energies are currently very heavy at the moment and with the upcoming cardinal cross in August these energies will continue to build. If you do a web search you will find plenty of information on ascension symptoms, but I feel it always helps getting another perspective from someone else. We do not have to suffer alone, even though sometimes it feels like we are but many of us are suffering with the same symptoms. I have decided to rename the term at least for my own reference as I feel the common term Ascension symptoms conjures up images of the rapture and may be a bit unapproachable for those who are new to all of this.
There is plenty of information on the web and in books that discuss the times we are now in. To recap we are no longer on the timeline for death and destruction which had been prophesied by so many. Anilihation was very much on the cards for the human race but this has now all changed. In its place a new timeline has emerged with new beginnings allowing a new consciousness not seen for many ages to perservere on our planet. This new age is termed the Age of Aquarius. A move towards more balance in our society is very real. Many of the changes we are seeing in our financial systems on a global scale are only confirming that the old ways are no longer being permitted. We will continue to see the destruction of old systems whether they be financial or political at an alarming rate so in a sense we are still very much only at the beginning of a great change to come.
This is due to the new arrival of energy entering our Earth through high level frequencies being carried by solar storms. The energy of the solar storms carries with it new coded information that work with Earth’s magnetics. Alot of research has been done on the shift of Earth’s magnetosphere in the last few years as it has shifted quite dramatically. The Earth also has a new spin again this has been researched and well documented and since 2004 this has become ever more prevalent. Many of the lightworker family have also been working whether consciously or unconsciously to help raise the vibration of the planet which over the years has taken its toll on many of us. For some we have now been released from this, while others take our place fighting the dark and helping to raise the vibration of the planet.
One of the first symptoms I feel impoortant to note is the raising of your kundalini. From this point many of the symptoms you face will be related to this shift of energetics that takes place in the body. In one of my articles I discuss my own experience when my kundalini began to awake. I won’t review the story here but suffice is to say I had no idea what was going on with me. Kundalini awakenings are like alarm clocks going off in the DNA signalling that it is time for the body to make a shift. Many of us are experiencing spontaneous kundalini awakenings which is unprecendented. You are not alone in this. Kundalini awakenings for some create great anxiety in the body and I believe anxiety plays very much into the release of kundalini. I was an anxiety wreck for years before my kundalini even released and once it did for another year or so I suffered very badly with anxiety and panic attacks. Then one day suddenly the anxiety disappeared and I began to be calm. My body felt as if it had been cleared of a great weight and I literally felt lighter. A good reliever of anxiety is hynoptherapy this will help you to clear your emotional body and get rid of the fears and blockages that you are being forced to face. It will also help you control the anxiety and panic attacks. It may not relieve these symptoms completely but it will offer much needed assistance without having to take mainstream medications.
Of course feelings of anxiety will bring on interrupted sleep and sleeping problems are very much a symptom of ascension related problems. Only a few years ago I was barely sleeping and when I did I would sleep for 2-3 hours at a time and then wake up. I went through a long cycle where I would take an eternity to fall asleep then wake up at 3.00am and stay awake for the rest of the night. These type of sleep cycles are quite common and again you are not alone even though it feels like it in the dead of night.
Feeling extremely hot and extremely cold. Again unusual feelings of heat will rise through the body when your kundalini releases. You can feel extremely hot one minute and extremely cold an hour later. A common side affect of rising kundalini is ascension flu. This is extreme heat where you feel you are burning from the inside and your crown chakra hurts immensely. When you experience this know that you are releasing a large amount of toxins and karmic baggage. When you experience ascension flu it usually lasts for 24 to 48 hours. If you try to go to a doctor no doubt they will not understand what you are talking about.
Body convulsions. The first year my kundalini released I would literally wake up after feeling like an earthquake had moved through my body. I had never had anything like this happen to me before but my whole body would literally vibrate and shake. Again it is the kundalini energy releasing and moving throughout the body cleansing the chakras.
Feeling like you are wired and out of your body. I suffered very badly with this when my kundalini first activated. I literally felt as if I was hovering outside of my body for months before I began to feel grounded in my body once again. When the energies are very heavy and pounding this feeling becomes very difficult for me. I always know when new energies have arrived as this feeling is a great indicator. When I feel this way I centre myself and tell myself to relax as it will pass. It is a strange feeling and there is no easy way around it. Again it is just the physical body adjusting to the frequency of energies and most likely our lightbodies bouncing between dimensions.
Phantom death. There is not alot of information on the internet about phantom deaths but I am sure they are on the rise. This is not a real death but when you experience this it is as if the door closes on the life you once knew and you feel yourself moving into a new reality. I experienced my phantom death when I was very ill. My kundalini had activated and I was unable to move, sleep, and barely eat for two months. My crown chakra hurt intensely and I was in great pain. As I laid in pain I felt death around me and for a split second I’m sure I did die. I would say I had experienced an exit point and I was given a choice to leave or stay. I decided to stay but soon after the person I had always been began to demand great change and so everything in my life altered.
Steve Rother has released a great video about ascension symptoms and I would encourage you to watch it. There are so many symptoms more than I have listed here. Know that others are experiencing these symptoms as well and it is all for a great cause. Your evolution.
It’s very interesting that the talks in Copenhagen ended with a stalemate. You have to be very careful with the press as it is their role to decieve, mislead and confuse us. However, if you sift through all of the bullshit that’s flying around it’s been interesting to watch how the press have been trying to blame everything on the Chinese, which is not the point. The point is all of the big players including Europe, America and China do not want to make the necessary changes to tackle the climate problem, this cannot be blamed on one country.
So, where does this leave us? It is hard to believe that the human race is on the brink of evolution. Looking at the recent attitudes of the world leaders this does not convince me that we are ready for the new Aquarian age, but alas supposedly we are. However, I could be looking at things from the wrong angle or should I say dimension. I’ll get back to this shortly.
The word ascension is becoming quite the buzz word, but for those not in the loop many wonder what all of this is about. The word is not a new one it has been bouncing around in religious circles for eons. It often offers visions of somone like Christ floating on a cloud and rising to the heavens. This type of ascension is no longer valid, although I wonder if it ever was. The ascension that is being whispered about now is somewhat different and involves the evolution of our DNA and the shifting of our consciousness as we remain in our bodies. Our climate is a big player as it is triggering us internally and most of us don’t even know it.
I’ll be frank, which is what I do best. We are not being told the truth about the climatic changes taking place on our planet, however, the scientific community and those who run the show, are in the know. I’ll give you an example. If you look at the front cover of Al Gore’s documentary, ‘An inconvenient Truth’ you will see what appears to be smoke coming out of a chimney. Look closely because that is not smoke it is our galaxy in disguise. Some could argue that it might represent a cyclone storm, but I agree with David Wilcock it is definitely our galaxy. So why is it being represented on the front cover of Al Gore’s documentary, ‘An Inconvenient Truth?’ What is it that they know that they are not telling us?
The powers that be communicate with us through symbolism, one of the experts at reading these signs has been Jordan Maxwell. If you have not heard of him you definitely need to look into his work. I’ll give you what seems to be an ‘innocent’ example of symbolism that I have discovered recently. In England, the BBC have been working very hard to reinvent the long running Dr Who show – I’ve watched a couple of episodes it seems to be entertaining. The finale episode for 2009 with David Tennant is called ‘The End of Time.’ A message is being tramsmitted here but you have to have your eyes and brain switched on to get the message. All you have to do is look around and you can see all of the doom and gloom theories being thrown around. Collective Consciousness is very vulnerable if you can keep the masses in fear then you can easily playout doom and gloom scenarios. There is actually an even deeper meaning that I am also able to read. The powers that be are letting you know that time in 3D reality is coming to an end and that a new consciousness is on the way. Part of the predictions for the years around 2012 made by the Mayans and other North American cultures discuss the ‘end of time’ and in its place a new age is coming, in metaphysical circles this new era of time has been named the Age of Aquarius.
What you will not be told by the news or any paid and bought for media outlets is that humanity is experiencing a shift in consciousness and scientifically this coincides with our DNA. The warming of the solar system is having an impact on us directly. Have you been experiencing severe anxiety, extreme insomnia, aches and pains, is your life falling apart? These are some of the symptoms and yes all of this is tied to 2012. Leave the doom and gloom aside and understand that 2010 leading up to 2012 and beyond will be watershed years that will shake humanity and change the way we think. There is nothing to fear except for change. The human race will still be here beyond 2012 but you maybe become alot more enlightened along the way.
In a previous article, ‘It’s not just the planet heating up it’s the whole solar system’, I gave links to the scientific evidence that supports the fact that not only is our planet warming but so is our entire solar system. This does not counter the argument that carbon emissions are not responsible for the rise in temperatures, but they are not the sole reason. It is vitally important that carbon emissions be reduced as we are poisioning our planet and Mother Earth is not happy with this. I’m sure we will see the dire consequence of this later in the centuryas our leaders will fail to do anything about this until the very last minute.
Dimensionally, our solar system is lifting its vibration and it is ascending, many of us have currently jumped ship and are existing dimensionally on the new earth in 5-D reality, while others remain on the old earth in 3-D. Lifting your vibration, the activation of your DNA and changing your perception of reality is currently what all of us are living with even if we do not know anything about ascension. These changes are going on within all of us whether we are aware or not. The new earth with the new energy is here so expect to see some big changes in the next couple of years. It is up to us to empower oursleves and read the scientific evidence for ourselves. Do not just take my word for it research it yourself. Do not just follow the news and assume they are telling you the truth, own your power. Look at NASA’s website, research why the magnetic field has shifted incredibly in a short span of time. Learn about the new children being born, the Indigos and Crystals. You might have one yourself. Open your mind and question what you see there is more to reality than what you have been told.
Throughout my whole life I have done alot of soul searching. I’ve never been willing to accept everything I read and hear and have always dug further under the surface. That’s why at age 13 I read the bible trying to understand the message that was presented and thought that I would be going to hell because I just wasn’t able to believe that the Christian God was a loving and caring creator, he could not scare me into believing. At age 19 I was reading about the history of various revolutions and counter revolution campaigns created by the CIA to stop them. By age 21 I was learning about mind control and how advertising is built upon subliminal messages that make you want to buy what they are selling, and of course sex is used as the master manipulator in their campaigns. All in all I was never a willing participant in the world I was born into and have been ostracised for my beliefs over the years.
Many of us share these experiences of not easily being decieved, supposedly it is an Indigo trait, we are the oddbins of society and live on the fringes poking fun at the mainstream. And then here comes what so many have termed ascension. We are blasted even further away from the mainstream and have no desire to play ball or go back to the old world that we never cared much for anyway. Our egos begin the process of deconstruction and before we even have time to digest and think about what has happened to us in a flash our lives are truly changed forever. It would be nice to put a ‘The end’ caption to wrap this up but as many of us have learned the work still continues, and most likely will for the rest of our lives.
This last year has for me been one of the most challenging. In particular I have found the energies since the summer solstice to be extremely revealing and intense. The one thing I have learned about the ascension process is that you, meaning the you that is conscious and having an experience, the ego, is relentlessly stripped and cleansed step by step, over and over, layer by layer. There is no right or wrong in the process and everyone will have experiences that reflect the reality they believe to help them transform and grow. But when you hit certain ‘ingrained and stubborn programs’ within yourself that’s when the fireworks really take off.
I have managed to hit a few of my own ‘immovable’ programs which I didn’t even realise were there and have actually managed to surprise myself in new and bizarre ways. I have been learning alot about reality and my point of perception over the last few months. And have fully accepted that to change the outside world we must first start with ourselves on the inside, because we are the creators of what we feel, hear and touch. I have hit a new phase with myself and have begun to see just how programmed I am, and do you know what, I don’t like it. The truth is we are all programmed it is the price we pay to live in 3D reality, think of it in terms of the matrix. The trick is realising that it is happening to you and then trying to break free from it, at least step by step. It is the choice between the blue or the red pill.
I’ve been reading alot about the separation of the old 3D world and how we will be creating a new world which many of us are now existing in. I’ll leave the questions of did we miscalculate or get it wrong for others to answser, as I really do not know, and to be honest I am glad I was removed from the old 3D world even if it is only dimensionally. What I have begun to fully realise and integrate within myself is that I cannot begin to create the new until I get a handle on my old programming. The programming comes in many forms such as; that government is here to help us – wrong, and we as a collective are definitely seeing this for ourselves, or at least some of us are. That Hollywood makes cute and inocuous movies, wrong, Hollywood is one of the main programmers and we should not take what we see lightly. Until I get a handle on my own belief systems, my old shit keeps rearing its ugly head, which is putting a damper on the new life I am trying to create for myself in this new world.
And this is what has been throwing me for a loop because there is alot of stuff within myself that has helped me over the years to create the world I see and it hasn’t all been bad, just 90% of it. Now, it is all being broken down and eroded away and it feels very unsettling. To be honest, I am surprised that I have so many triggers, but I do, and it is a part of living in 3D reality, but it is now time to move beyond them.
The separation from the old 3D world is a challenge for those of us taking part. We can no longer hide from ourselves or skip along without looking at our belief systems. Quite the contrary, to create the new we have to completely let go of the old and that includes how we have always thought of ourselves, what we truly want in our lives and who we want around us. I have spoken to a few people about the economy and have realised that they basically want to keep the same old system with a few new changes. But I don’t, I’m so tired of money and I would love a new world without the care of money. And I think this is what makes us different from so many others, we’ve just basically had enough of all of it and it is time to completely change it all.
In a short time I have lost some really close people to me because of the new ways that I think and to be honest I spend most of my time alone. My old world has been shattered, and is currently being realigned. I am not bitter but maybe a bit sad that I have to leave people I care about behind, but we are all free to think for ourselves and choose what is best for us on this journey.
I love the synchronicity of things it’s like the sprinkling of fairy dust! After I wrote my last post ‘Life in the void, being broke, and loving every minute of it?’ I visited Karen Bishop’s website, who is one of my favourite energy readers, and I was so pleased to see her post from the 18th November 09, The Opening of 11:11 and the New Energy Surge , literally within minutes of reading her post my phone began to ring and I was invited for an interview for a part-time post I had applied for. The office I had been working at on a temporary basis also got in touch later that day needing me to come in once again to help out in the coming weeks. Since the 19th of November I have been out of the void and existing on the fringes of 3-d reality. I say this because as the 09.09.09 portal separated the old 3-d world from the new world I have noticed that my contact with others has been very limited. Even the new part-time job I have is working during the nights, keeping me safe from the harsher energies as my body has now become extremely sensitive to the lower denser energies.
In my last post ‘Life in the void, being broke, and loving every minute of it?’, I described the process of what life was like when going through periods of what is termed ‘in the void’. During the process of ascension or spiritual awakening, these quiet moments are extremely important. As the body is lifting its vibration, purging and releasing the most one can do is get lots of rest, cry if you need to, drink plenty of water and get out of the way of our higher selves, so that we can create the necessary connections for our next phase. These void periods come in cycles and there is no exact time frame for how long they last. I have had void periods that last only for a couple of months to almost a year. It really depends on how much processing and releasing your body needs and how you react to the process.
From the many responses I have had privately and here on the blog many of you are also experiencing this, which is very normal and common for those of us now choosing to awake. So, some of you may just be entering void periods and others may be coming out and reemerging once again. There is no right or wrong and we are all moving along on different timelines to get to the same point, it is all part of the process. So enjoy these times and think about what you truly want in your life and what you no longer will tolerate.
Now, more than anytime our lives are being dismantled and restructured as we hurdle towards 2012 and beyond. 2012 is not about the end of the world, this is an old timeline that has been eradicated with the energy of the harmonic convergence. It will however be very much a marker of new beginnings for our new ways of life and what we belive is ‘real’. For me I forsee 2012 and the next two years 2010 and 2011 ushering in the dismantling of our mind control programmes for those that want to awake. When you move beyond the manipulation and mind control programmes of the 3d world you really understand just what is going on in our world, and it ain’t pretty… at all. I am not convinced that everyone will wake up or that we will all hold hands and sing songs of love. There will still be alot of problems to overcome, but I do believe it will become harder for our governments to decieve us, and for us to decieve ourselves, at least for a small percentage of us.
So while you experience your void periods try to relax and know that you are being guided. When it’s over, you will soon be busy and will want another rest soon.
Without a doubt 2009 has been a very difficult year for me as it has been for many others going through deep and profound changes. For me it’s been a long cycle which started in full in 2007 and has lingered ever since. I have been reshaped, reformed, cleansed, purified, turned upside down and inside out, removed, detached, abused and loved and have experienced every emotion that is possible to describe with human words. I have cried and laughed and felt completely no emotion at all wondering what in blazing saddles is going on in my life. Unfortunately, I wasn’t born with being able to see through dimensions or have conversations with star beings which I would have loved to of had but I was born quite sensitive and have the ability to feel energy at a deep level. I’m glad there are others out there such as Karen Bishop, Lisa Renee, Steve Rother who have this talent and can articulate what is happening to us as it is such a transformative journey and we all need help and guidance along the way.
Over the last few years, as I have been on my ascension journey, I have gone through a few cycles where I have been completely withdrawn from the world around me. I can’t say I mind, I do not care much for mainstream life and would very much like to go and live on a much more sophisticated and loving planet. However, for now I am here and so I and many of us who are sensitive to the denser energies are trying to make the most of it.
Over the last few years I have noticed a distinct and reoccurring pattern that exists. I enter into moments of complete detachness where absolutely nothing happens in my life for months and months and at the moment I am in another one of those phases. For me it began in September with the 09.09.09 portal. The phone stopped ringing, the temporary job I had folded and everything around me halted, except for the creative work I am doing for my novel that will be published early next year. This phase is often described as the ‘void’ and is a big part of ascension and many of us have and are currently experiencing this. I will leave the more technical aspects of the cleansing and purging that comes with this to the experts but the void is a necessary phase that happens in cycles as our bodies assimilate the new energies that are being pumped into the planet. During these periods I am always out of work whether I like it or not, can only focus and concentrate for short periods of time, am completely removed from others, and spend alot of time in my own home and pretty much feel like doing very little. In 3-D reality we are taught we must have a job, we should always be doing something and working ourselves to death to show just how successful we are. So, when you jump out of 3-D reality and move into the higher realms we soon realise there are many levels where work can occur that do not adhere to the rules of 3-D perception. And although we may have alot of work to get on with such as creative projects or planning our new businesses we just can’t muster enough energy to sit and do it all day as we could in the past.
I find life in the void scary and comforting all at the same time. I am always working through alot within myself during these periods and spend alot of time crying and releasing as I often feel very alone and detached from everyone and everything around me. My crown chakra tends to hurt alot and the laying down position is my favourite as it makes me feel at ease. I always manage to get sick. And this cycle is no different I have had the flu, vomitted, been having stomach aches, and have felt absolutely exhausted even though I have been getting plenty of rest and have been able to relax all day long. However, unfortunately I have a mortgage and bills to pay so although we are being asked by the higher levels to use this time and transmute and process I find it very hard to fully relax.
I have to admit somehow my financial needs are strangely being met. They do not all get met, if I may add, but I still have a roof over my head and I have been through a few phases of the void in the past and have come out at the other end still standing and with a home. I eat regularly so much so that I’ve managed to put on weight and I am not someone who puts on weight easily. As everything in my life has been stripped away I do not have many material things left, I have no car to maintain and no credit cards to worry about everything has been shaved down to the bare mininum. This also includes personal relationships including my marriage which has experienced many ups and downs over the last few years and at the moment my husband and I have been separated from each other.
I am broke, and forced to accept help from others, something that does not sit well with me as I have always worked for everything I have. Even when I try to help myself and look for work I am rudely reminded that I no longer belong in the old world. This week I recently tried to join an agency to look for employment. Although my novel will be available to buy at the beginning of next year and I am trying to become self employed delivering historical workshops, I still need outside help financially. I was rudely turned away as I was not able to pass a credit check to get a particular job, have you ever heard anything so ridiculous? At another agency I was not accepted because I had the audacity to tell the agency that I had life goals and write creatively on the side and was looking for something part-time or temporary. They were not happy with this because the employers want to know that you will dedicate yourself to the job wholly, meaning you are not allowed to have a brain of your own.
So I continue to live my life in the void and try to enjoy being broke and living simply. I will surrender myself to the experience once again and will try to stay in the now and look forward to the new beginnings that will hopefully begin for myself and many of us in 2010.
Unfortunately astrology has been confined to the outskirts of conscious awareness. We live in a world where anything that is of any real value and has the ability to shift our consciousness for the better is marginalised and made fun of. Astrology is a science and is the oldest science on this planet and great thinkers over the many centuries have studied this science worldwide. Astrology is a great tool and if you would like to understand ascension and the shift of consciousness from 3-D to 5-D then a study into astrology will help you greatly. In parts I & II of my ascension nightmare and how I got to where I am now posts I discussed my experience of a kundalini release and how it all works in the wider scheme of things. In this post I discuss the astrology of ascension using my own chart as a case study.
One of the best works I’ve read so far that addresses the issue of kundalini and astrology is Barbara Hand Clow’s Liquid, Light, Sex: Kundalini, Astrology, and the Key Life Transitions. In this work Barbara Hand Clow embarks on a great journey explaining how the time clock of astrology signals our mid-life crises transits which take place to transform us, and not just make our lives fall apart, which is what most mid-life transits actually feel like. The key to any transition is the release of kundalini energy and for better or worst its purpose is to make us face ourselves and evolve into higher levels of consciousness. Throughout the book Barabara focuses her attention on the planets Uranus, Saturn and Pluto and Asteroid Chiron as major triggers for releasing the kundalini. Barbara’s work could go into the astrology of ascension even more directly, I believe she is more than equipped to do this but may have resisted to avoid scaring off more mainstream readers. However, the undertones of ascension are definitely there. Yet many of us are having kundalini releases and we haven’t reached our forties or fifties so what shadowy figure in the astrological world is responsible for this?
At the moment I can only use myself as a case study, but this area certainly does call for some further research. I would say officially that my kundalini released itself in August 2007. I was 35 and experiencing an approaching square of Pluto to my natal Pluto which is at 29 Virgo. Most astrologers without a doubt give the Pluto square Pluto transit more credit as a great life transforming transit and and believe it to be more potent and volatile than the saturn return. My ascendant is at 26 Sagittarius and my moon is at 27 Sagittaurius both being tightly conjunct. Since 1995 I had been hosting Pluto in my 12th house which helps to explain the cleansing theme of hynoptherapy and counselling I underwent starting in 2003 as it began to get close to my ascendant and moon. Pluto in my 12th house brought out all of my fears and painful memories and for years I battlled with anxiety and insomnia beginning in 1999 until I couldn’t take it any longer and decided to reach out for help in 2003. As my ascendant and moon are at 26 and 27 degrees Sagittarius they are both conjunct the Galactic Centre, a mystical black hole in the centre of the Milky Way. In 2006- 2007 Pluto exactly conjuncted the Galactic Centre for the first time in 250 years which was seen as a monumental event in astrological terms. We all held our breaths and wondered what message would come as Pluto crossed this sensitive point and began its entry into Capricorn.
As a late Sagittarius rising individual Pluto conjuncting my ascendant and Moon stirred and dislodged great energies inside of me which brought on my kundalini release. Something big was definitely happening in my life. Pluto crossing the ascendant is always a big deal and you and your life are never the same. But as my moon and ascendant and natal Pluto were all being touched and triggered by the transformative and destructive energies of Pluto, lord of the underworld, something deep inside of me certainly was unleashed. Coupled with the energy of the Galactic Centre which I was born with natally I felt like someone had plugged me into an electrical outlet and left my to fry. I was baking in full on cosmic energies directly from the central sun, the Galactic Centre, for many months and when Jupiter joined the party with Pluto in September 2007 it expanded all of the energies that were charging through my body.
It is said that a life changing transit can be read in many ways in the astrological chart. In my progressed chart looking at the solar arc progressions my SA Midheaven was conjunct my natal neptune which is at 3 Sagittarius. My SA Pluto was conjunct my natal Midheaven at 0 Scorpio, my SA Neptune was conjunct my natal Jupiter which is at 6 Capricorn. Jupiter is also my chart ruler. And my solar arc Ascendant had just changed signs and was at 0 Aquarius. Noel Tyl who is credited with educating the astrological community about solar arcs says that when either the solar arc midheaven and natal Neptune or vice versa make a conjunction or when the solar arc Neptune hits an angle an ego wipeout usually occurs. Spiritual awakening and transcendence also takes place but one cannot occur without the the other.
I certainly did experience an ego wipeout and because of this my consciousness opened up fully allowing me to awaken spiritually with little choice. Without a doubt the trigger for me was the planet Pluto, and what followed was definitely a Plutonic tale as the building blocks in my life fell in a domino effect in a blink of an eye. In part II I will discuss how Pluto completely transformed my life taking me to where I am now.
Well, the new energies have certainly been hitting me in big ways. November so far has been quite a transitional month and not an easy one for me and with it I have been battling with a new round of ascension symptoms. However, today I am feeling better and I would like to continue with the second part of my post. If you have not read ‘My ascension nightmare and how I got to where I am Part I’ you may want to drop in and read this first. For those of you who have here is part II.
So, let us rewind for just a minute and I will take you back a few years before we move on to the summer of 2007. In the last post I described to you my account and experience of a kundalini release. It wasn’t pretty and it completely uprooted every area of my life. As the planet is ascending the vibration of the planet is lifting due to the influx of energies being pumped into the universe. Many of us whether we are into new age spirituality or not are feeling some very strange side effects. Anxiety is the most common effect people are experiencing which brings on intense fear, we feel this because we are being forced to face ourselves and get to the root of our behaviourial patterns that do not serve our highest good. When my anxiety was at its worst my hands and body constantly shook and I would often hide my hands out of sheer embarrassment. It is becoming more common for people to experience spontaneous kundalini releases without even having to try, however, I do believe you will go through some physical preparations such as extreme anxiety and insomnia as the body prepares itself. Nevertheless, even if someone has had a kundalini release not everyone will experience what I have previously described. When my husband experienced his kundalini release, he developed kundalini flu which brought on alot of pain in his crown chakra and he felt like he was on fire for about 24 hours and then he got better. After that, it was over. He developed the ringing in his ears soon after but did not got the loud siren effects like I did.
So why was my kundalini release so difficult? This I do not know, and I am still trying to find the answers as there is so much to learn with all of this. If you read Karen Bishop’s account of her awakening or Lisa Renee they too discuss a not so pleasant experience. But, I do believe some of us will experience very strange symptoms as our kundalini releases and our pineal glands get activated.
I will say that I do not believe that my kundalini release was as spontaneous as I first believed. When I begin to look at the progression I went through I noticed a big change in myself towards the end of 1999 going into 2000. During this time I began experiencing extreme anxiety. I was constantly anxious, I could not sleep, I had constant panic attacks and I became more and more nervous as the years went on. From 2001-2003 I wrote Zoe Evans’ Possible Worlds the Crystal which acted as a great cathartic escape for me. I found myself channelling content for the book that I did not fully understand until my kundalini release and spiritual awakening years later. By 2003, I realised that I needed help and so I went to see a hypnotherapist. I did intense clearing work from 2003 until 2006 reliving all of the not so happy memories of my past and clearing them from my energy field. I began to feel better but the panic attacks still lingered as did the insomnia. My hypnotherapist suggested that I meditate on a regular basis which would help to calm my nerves. So I did, I meditated for about 20 minutes three to four times a week from 2003 until 2007. So when my kundalini released in the summer of 2007 I was catapulted into extreme anxiety once again and psychosis which I had never experienced before and I was completely shocked. I had been doing so much work on myself, clearing and releasing so why was this happening to me?
As in the Matrix when Neo is faced with the choice of taking the blue or the red pill Kundalini release, ascension, spiritual awakening, however you would like to describe the process will without a doubt shatter your current perceptions about everything. As my body cleared away all of the junk and debris of my past including any negative karmic patterns within my auric field, I was ready to be activated by the new energies that were being pumped into the solar system. I had lifted my vibration to such a level that these new energies vibrated within my DNA which signalled it was time for activation. The kundalini energy in my body and my pineal gland began to go to work. The ancients have always known about the power of the pineal gland or third eye. So have the Vatican and the masonic orders wich is a scary thought. To gain higher levels of consciousness it is necessary for the pineal gland to be activated as it controls the the third eye. The pineal gland is within the brain and effects what is perceived through the physical eyes and the senses. It is the bridge and regulates awareness between the physical and spiritual worlds. When the pineal gland is activated your perceptions and programming change. It is the gateway to higher knowledge and opening to the psychic realms.
When the pineal gland is activated a numbing sensation, or heaviness is felt in the base of the brain when you feel this know that great things are happening. You will also feel the pouring of energy coming through the top of your head through the crown chakra as it activates the pineal gland, and you will get a buzzing or ringing in the ear as the energies swirl around. Sometimes the sound can be loud and sometimes it is soft but it is best described as white noise.
So when my kundalini released my body became a christmas tree lit up with electrical currents running through all of its channels. I could no longer be the person I was it was time to change. From August 2007 until January 2008 I went through an accelerated learning curve spiritually. I wanted to learn as much as I could and information came flying at me from every direction. I was in constant pain as my crown chakra took in all of the new light and energy and I felt like an outsider from the 3-D world as my pineal gland had been activated and everything around me looked strange visually. The ringing in my ears was loud but began to get quieter as the months went by. I have always been into spirtual and metaphysical subjects, I have a degree in Philosophy, and I found a couple of books on my bookshelf on healing using crystals. I could not remeber buying these books but nevertheless they were there. I also found a book I had on healing using natural remedies such as flower remedies and decided to heal myself as my doctor was of no help whatsoever. His answer to my health problems was to put me on anti-depressants which I flatly refused. I also had a couple of sessions of acupuncture that helped me tremendously and the visual problems I had of everything looking flat and blurry eased with each session as my third eye began to reopen fully. Everything around me looked different when I regained my vision it was if a new sense of vision was given to me. I finally began to sleep better by November 2007 with the aid of prescription sleeping pills but I would only sleep for about 2 hours and then lay awake for another 2 hours this would go on all through the night every night for months. My body was being downloaded with energy, information, light and I would lay in bed and feel my whole body literally shake and vibrate as the kundalini moved up, down and through my chakra system. I was constantly hot and at night sweat would drop off of me and strangely I began to see number sequences such as 11:11, 9:11, 5:55, and on and on flashing on the clock. In December 2007 I experienced the phantom death phase, I literally felt myself die. I said good-bye to my husband expecting to physically die as I felt myself completely detaching from 3-d reality. I did not die, but I certainly did not return to the old 3-D world I was born into.
I did not learn what had truly happened to me until January 2008 when I stumbled upon a channeling from Kryon and a spiritual forum that helped me greatly, and then I realised there was a whole community of people going through the same thing as me. What a relief, I hadn’t been going crazy I was just experiencing a spiritual awakening.
In part III I will discuss the astrology of my kundalini release and spiritual awakening, as my whole life began to fall apart.
Kundalini is a Sanskrit word meaning either “coiled up” or “coiling like a snake.” There are a number of other translations of the term usually emphasizing a more serpent nature to the word – e.g. ‘serpent power’
This is my first attempt to discuss the shocking changes my body
encountered beginning in August 2007. At the time and for several months after I did not know what was happening to me and I did not begin to learn that I had experienced a kundalini release until early 2008. If you search the web you will find a great amount of content relating to kundalini. It is a term widely available within new age spiritual circles and is no longer the secret that it once was, that is in these circles. The sad reality is that the experience of kundalini is a big part of human consciouness and the astrological timing of kundalini events are often triggered by generational aspects that we all go through ie. midlife crisis, menopause for women etc. So, why do we not know more about it as our bodies naturally have a time clock to signal the kundalini release? David Wilcock has given a very good lecture about this very subject and shows that the Vatican is aware of the power of kundalini and has for centuries kept the mystical side of their interests secret yet parading it through symbolism in our faces. As usual, there are many in the know that do not want us to know but with more of us now experiencing kundalini experiences at a younger age the cat is beginning to get out of the bag.
In times past it was said that kundalini awakening, that is the release of the kundalini energy, takes place when a soul is ready to be initiated. A certain level of spiritual maturation needs to be in place to allow the energy to uncoil itself and begin its ascent through the body to begin the process of cleansing all of the chakra centres over and over. Spiritual maturation usually occurs in the mid forties to early fifties which takes place just when an individual is beginning to learn that there is more to life than what they have traditionally been taught. But now as the human race begins its journey towards the new energies of the Aquarian Age spiritual maturation is happening at a faster and younger rate. In addition, the energies that are being pumped into our solar system have been unconsciously releasing kundalini in many people whether they are ready for it or not hence producing what is commonly termed as ascension symptoms.
It has now been over two years since the kundalini energy uncoiled and released itself in my body and my life has been turned upside down and all around. A Kundalini release is often described as spiritual bliss and a journey of becoming one with the universe. Unfortunately for me I did not feel any spiritual bliss just sheer terror because I didn’t know what had happened to me.
My Kundalini Release
It was the 17th August 2007. It began with me becoming short of breath and feeling extremely unbalanced and then within a second I felt like I was outside of reality looking in. It felt like someone had turned me and everything around me inside out. I was frightened and I didn’t know what to do. At work I had been experiencing severe bullying by a manager I had worked for, and at first I thought I had an anxiety attack due to all of the stress I was undergoing but I soon realised this was not an anxiety attack this was something else. I was not in any state to go to work I could barely stand, and within 24 hours I had become a nervous wreck. I couldn’t sleep at all not even for an hour. I felt like someone had plugged me into an electrical outlet and left me to fry. After the first couple of days of being in this state I finally got a sinking feeling that something was wrong and that I would never be the same again, little did I know just how true that was.
After a few days I began to get a loud ringing in my head which was constant. The sound was similar to a loud buzzing sound that had a high pitch to it. It was very loud and unnerving. My head also hurt and it was beyond any headache I had ever experienced I was just in extreme pain. And just when I believed that things couldn’t get worst my vision became extremely blurred. I could barely see and visually everything looked flattened and I felt like I was trapped in a hellish nightmare. I am one of those annoying people who are always cold. I have always had naturally cold hands and feet so when I began feeling constantly hot and sweating I realised that I was not myself at all. My insomina also kicked into high gear and I have suffered with it very badly throughout my adult life. I stopped sleeping completely, I couldn’t sleep I was hot, my head felt like it was going to explode as it was being bombarded with prickly energy and I felt incredibly anxious. I was also frightened because I was no longer in the space and time I knew. Within a week I became a ghostly shell of myself. I had to go on sick leave from work because I could not function. By the end of the second week I knew I needed help badly but I didn’t know who or where I could go.
In part II I will discuss how I managed to balance out my body and survive my kundalini release putting me on a new journey of self discovery.